Travel

I came back to Malaysia this midnight.
I think of him and him during then journey.
I bought some stamps and keep.
I think of him when I saw muscular man and something related with him like football, portion of food in HK.
And I care of my body shape, body weight.
I want to be the girls on the street, common girls who will make themselves presentable.

Cause guys over the world all the same, they all just look at the surface.

Now I am 45kg, resulted from 1 month of study week, 11  days of walking and less eating, hmmm...
I bought the Adidas sport shoes, and I'll make full use of that.
Jogging, badminton, squash.

I need a good timetable.
My dad asked me to sleep at 9 or 10pm, and then wake up at 4 or 5am.
I think I should follow that.
5am-7am online, meditate
7am-8am jogging, bath, breakfast
8.15am class and study
4pm badminton
5pm jogging, meditation
6.30pm take rice, bath, eat, drama
8pm read note and study
10pm sleep

I should follow it tight.
Gambateh!!!!

9 months ago

About 9 months ago, I went back home by bus, like today, I opened my facebook, saw him still online.
He was gaming till the morning so that he wont feel waste time while he would take the day bus.
He told me he will not go back home, lied to me actually.

Every time after that, when I take night bus and reached jetty, I think of him...

Finished Selanjar 2!!!!

Hohohohoho~~ Finished exam already!!!
Today MCQ...
I have to say, better than usual, but the result might just same as last exam...
And I just finished packing from 130pm... Yesterday 5 hours plus today's 5 hours, so tired... T.T

And I will bring 3 luggage to home, 1 for travel, 1 for laptop, 1 for racquets~

Just now drank iced lemon green tea, now feel like stomach pain T.T

Later 830pm will go to bus station!!!
And will have dinner in MCD!!!

Packing

Since he was following behind us from BPSP, then we needed to open the door.
Like usual, Cindy scanned the card while I opened the door, and the guy behind me just walked through like that!!!
=.=
I knew that he biasa edi with my weird attitude, but, I still hope that there is one guy who will insist to hold the door for me T.T
Bad la...
Nevermind, one day I will meet that kind of guy.
Cindy slowed down to put plaster on her Archilis' tendon.
Then I pretended again after she done with that, as I do not care that I lost a chance to walk behind him...
And I looked at him from far, and wondered why they walked so slow???
Then saw him walked to the guy's hostel.
He stayed friend's room???
Or maybe he would went out with friends for lunch.
I went back to room and cooked spaghetti. *Actually I forgot to bring my room key again T.T*
Online relax awhile, and then I attempted to sleep and cannot fall asleep.
So I went to GX room and chat with her for 2 hours!!!!
Then I started to pack until 9pm >.< still a lot more!!!
Now I need to go Cindy's room for MCQ!!!

Still worry although think that I cant score this paper...

OSCE CLINICAL

Yess!!!! Yesssssss!!!!
The questions are ABO compatibility, Ulnar Nerve Examination, History Taking of Hyperthyroidism.
I get a nice patient and nice doctors~~~~
Hahahaaa!!!!
By the way...
I still care of him.
The first day, saw him waiting outside the main hall, he was talking to his friends...
While I not dare to look at him much...
I was sitting the last row of first line, while he was at the first row of third or forth line.
I was concentrating at my exam, and when the time's up, I looked at him, smiling to his friends.
He wont look at me like last time anymore...

Today, I went to the quarantine hall, I did not see him cause I was so nervous.
After I filled up my attendance, I saw him sitting right in front of the first row, he was talking to his friend.
I waved to his friend, Joe, and I totally ignored him...
I knew it is obvious, but what to do, I still do not know to face him, how I should stand when I face him...
Then I looked at him from far...
He was happily talking to his friends, not like me, still stress with exam.
Then I went to the wad.

After the exam, we were talking in quarantine room.
I waited for his coming, and half an anhour after that, he appeared, with happy face.
I high '10' with Cindy and later I saw him high '5' with all his friends...
Then he stood at the place that I can easily see him, maybe because my seat facing the tv and they were watching Olympic.
He kept appear around my sight, and I just looked him while I can, who asked him to appear in front my eyes!!!

Then I just ignored him and went far far from him, and we got out of quarantine room.
I saw him was far away from the queue and do not know how he escaped from the crowd so fast and came out after us so soon.
And he walked behind us, he went to Nurani, he talked about the ethnic grade behind of me, asking his friends what grade they get...
And I do not want to pay attention to that.
I need to pretend that I do not care, no intention to get close to him, no intention to know his things, no intention even to be nice or be his friend.

Because, so many people know my secret and no people think that he will reciprocal like what I feel to him, and they all advise me to stay away from him, do not make myself hurt, to get less concern of him, so that I can withdraw easily.

Yes, I know it.
Cause I have more feeling of sadness instead of in love now.
Yet, the in love feeling hidden in deep inside me, when he smiles, when he talks to me, when he looks at me, the sadness gone, and the sweet feelings reappear..

I am grate that I have more stable emotion now, although I am still panic during exam, and I over my doubt to myself recently, I over my hatred to myself recently.

I can handle myself well now.

At least, I tried before and I now can keep them as sweet memories.