Testy

I am still hot-tempered...
I hate this feeling.
That's why I admire people who stays calm in any situations...

Return

He reached home.
I thought he still in Australia.
Took flight yesterday, and I contacted him today.
He asked me what is fun about Pangkor, I told him nothing, and he does not feel like coming.
Then he ignored me.
=.=

What the...

Emptiness

I found emptiness after chatting with friends.
The feeling is too strong and I do not feel comfortable with it...

小钟

我想你了啊！！没话题说了，没借口找你了，唉。。。

无聊

打开friend list，刷一刷名字，竟然没有可以聊天的对象？
并没有像以前失落，只是觉得这是必然的事。
似乎我的世界安静了许多~~~

爱上你

He thinks of me when he saw article to be happy.
He concerned about me, hahahahahaa~
I miss him, but he did not feel the same.
He wants to help me to be a happier person, I know.
He is a very good friend.
I think he is busy to farewell with his friends.
I should not disturbing him.

He never have a thought to be with me.
I will definitely faint if he says he likes me too.

Moody

I feel better after telling him my problem...
At last I still dependent to him.
And I felt that we are really close now.
Not like the previous time, it was me the one who thought we were close.

^.^
Good mood now~~

Surrender

I can not hold it anymore.
I can not chat with him anymore.
I found that when I felt down, I wished to talk to him.
But I know if I really tell him, whether he cares or not, things are gonna to have a change.
It is really a deep side of me, I am scared to let him know.
As I know he might act as a good friend and console me, or just play bad to tease about my immaturity.
Both way, will make me suffer as in, either I fall for him deeper, or I get hurt.
No, I do not want these to happen.

I can not depend on him this much, this stage is enough.
That's why I kept disturb him but I did not tell him anything.

I wish to get a good feedback, at least one and I can get hope.
I am falling to a ground where there is no one for me to share my joy, my opinions and my happiness.
I have to fake myself?

While I was shooting by someone that I am forcing others to do good deeds, and I should not feel sad.

Seeing people asking each other to take alcohol, showed a sarcastic phenomenon that common to ask other to conduct bad things is normal than asking people to do good deeds.


“Right is right even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong even if everyone is doing it.” 
― Augustine of Hippo

Courage

Because of him and because of prince, I stepped out of my comfort zone...
This is why I love both of them...

I learnt to grow.
I love the me who changed because of them.
I made my world wider.

Not bad!

人生的意义

## 人生的意義


二千年前，有一位國王，和臣子出遊，看到美好的江山，不禁感嘆，要是能長生不老，多好！

臣子說，如果人都長生不老，現在全國的人口一定很多，生活環境會很擁擠。古早的國王也還在位，您或許只能分配到，極小片的土地，成為貧苦的農民，正在為今年的收成，夠不夠養家活口而煩惱，那裡能像現在，悠閒地看風景？ 

人生的意義是什麼？暫且按下。
先談談「究竟是什麼人，會問這個問題呢？」
努力耕耘以求餵飽全家人的農夫，不會問；
全心全意準備升學考試的學生也不問；
致力研發新軟體的工程師也不問。
熱戀中的年輕人也不問。
因為他們全力投入，生活有了具體目標，當然不會問這「無聊」問題。

農夫餵飽了全家，學生考上了理想的學校，工程師解決了軟體的問題，戀人擄獲了對方的心。
全都會覺得，人生無比美好！更不會生出「人生有什麼意義」這種「無聊」問題。

如果，農夫努力耕作，卻餵不飽家人，
學生用功唸書，卻落榜了，
工程師努力了半天，卻被別人搶先發明，
愛人移情別戀了，這時候，他們或許就會問：「人生有何意義？」

人生的意義就在當下。##


There are things that beyond you can understand.
Most people can not accept this, I mean, they know this is true, but it is too cruel, then people tend to cheat themselves so that they think they will not experience that, it will not happen on them.

Cheer up!!!

It is quite sad that I have to hide some parts of myself to let common people to accept who I am.
I experienced this in school, and now I will face it in hometown.

Some said I forced them to do good deeds.

Hello, you already wasted how many years and days in your life spending all you luck, and now I just ask you to donate once, and tell them a bit about dhamma, they said I am over??

Hello, everyday you are speaking bad words and dirty words anytime you want to say, and now I just ask you to spend 5 minutes to make your mouth speak good words and chant, is it over?

When people said, doing good deeds not necessary have to spend money, and when I introduce online chanting which is free of charge, they still have objections, saying that they do not understand the chant, saying they have no time.

Well, that's why I asked you to do good deeds with money. It is much more easier compared to you have to chant by yourself right?

Oh, then some will say me so realistic, only request money from friends.

Hello, I donate too, I donate more than everyone I asked.
Do you think I need to cheat your money and let all of my friends think bad of me?
I love to have the feeling of being mis-thought that I am a cheater?
Wow, while people have never expose to this kind of knowledge, never know anything about this field, and they straight away shoot me that I am wrong?

It is just like a layman tells the doctor how to operate, and the doctor wants to explain him about anatomy, then the layman says, no the bomoh said there will be something in the where where, must take it out, no, your decision is wrong, your way to operate is wrong, you should do like this and like that.

Or a layman heard something from friends and MO, then when he heard something different from the specialist, then he questioned the specialist why his explanations are different from others, and most people said it that way, specialist must be wrong.

Lol, funny right?

People are willing to go for Famine 30, it is a good action.
While if I tell people I willing to hold 8 precepts, to not eat after noon, it have the same effects that we can save some food, we can know the feeling of hunger, but then people will say why are you so unhealthy?
What?? Eat too much at night, when our digestive system is weak, and make your body wastes energy is considered healthy??

I should not be so emotional, I should not explain myself, just because I still care to have my friends around, I want them to understand me.
When I do not really care of them, I wont even talk to them.


Who cares? I care.
I will not, in future.

失望

原来被误解还是会很痛。。
眼泪像上次一样狠狠地落下来。
我又被认为是邪教份子。

无所谓被人怎么看我。
我现在只想保护一个人的心，只有他。
我觉得我很傻，我很驴。
对他，我很自私。
我也不懂我为什么那么执着。

就让自己知道谁才是真正的朋友吧~

伤心

学了那么久，诵经也不少了，我竟然还会被冷言冷语伤到心。
其实劝了人，听不听是别人的事，为什么我要伤心呢？
是自己太没用了。
功德大障碍小，功德小障碍大。
是我的功德太小了，别人才觉得我说的话不足以信赖。
我应该好好地，多多的修才是。
往今天的目标前进，加油！！

Life - Holiday - Meaningful

I think in facebook it should appear as #life #holiday #meaningful, lol~~
By the way, I always do not follow trend.

Did many things after coming back from Taiwan.
Do not plan to write about my trip, I guess I will not able to complete it, hahaha!!!

I start to miss him already, not even 12 hours from last conversation.
Yes, I did it again...
The lucky part is I do not feel much already, although can not control myself to chat him.
I will never expect to have any progression with him.

No fluctuation of mood.

He knows me well now, we exchanged thoughts, the real conversations started.
Anyways, I angry with him when he again changed his mood like changing clothes.
Haizz......

I will only find a boyfriend that I can surely know he will be my husband, and we will go through every hardship and grow old together.

Special relationship

Yes, I am greedy, I do not want to be stranger, I want be good friend.
We were chatting, and I should not do that...

He knows me, but not really knows me, but more than any other guy now.
He might be a good friend too.

灰心

如果现在我都说，不想，不爱，不喜欢，好像很灰心。
对，不知怎地，我现在有点灰。。。

爱上你，不需要理由

我想，我是在你毫无预警就唱生日歌给我听时爱上你的。。。
你根本没必要那么做，却让我束手无措，掉入你的陷阱。

I WILL BE RIGHT HERE WAITING FOR YOU

Wherever you go, whatever you do 
I will be right here, waiting for you 
Whatever it takes, or how my heart breaks 
I will be right here waiting for you 

寂寞

当你寂寞，不要到处找人聊天。
打开你的部落格，跟自己聊天吧！

想要找个听我分享台湾之旅的人，可是看了聊天名单，并没有合适的。
曾经有个人能听我说的废话，容忍我的三八，可我已没有理由再跟他说话。
一个人在吉隆坡，待在家，没人陪。
不过，去出玩也很累人。

旅途中，想要一个可以陪我跋山涉水，志同道合的伴，可我想，那也只是虚幻。
我没法跟别人契合。

想到了他，可是他的言语中，不无一刻是不想气我的。
是我气人太多了吧？

看看戏好了。。。