Surrender

I can not hold it anymore.
I can not chat with him anymore.
I found that when I felt down, I wished to talk to him.
But I know if I really tell him, whether he cares or not, things are gonna to have a change.
It is really a deep side of me, I am scared to let him know.
As I know he might act as a good friend and console me, or just play bad to tease about my immaturity.
Both way, will make me suffer as in, either I fall for him deeper, or I get hurt.
No, I do not want these to happen.

I can not depend on him this much, this stage is enough.
That's why I kept disturb him but I did not tell him anything.

I wish to get a good feedback, at least one and I can get hope.
I am falling to a ground where there is no one for me to share my joy, my opinions and my happiness.
I have to fake myself?

While I was shooting by someone that I am forcing others to do good deeds, and I should not feel sad.

Seeing people asking each other to take alcohol, showed a sarcastic phenomenon that common to ask other to conduct bad things is normal than asking people to do good deeds.


“Right is right even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong even if everyone is doing it.” 
― Augustine of Hippo