Dream-Romance

Because of the junior asked me to massage him yesterday, I had a very long dream about CKM just now...
I only remembered that he compared me with Lyn.
He knew I like him but he does think he wants me this kind of girl as a girlfriend.
He tried with Lyn, and he found that maybe appearance is not everything in a relationship.
During one occasion, I tried to massage him, there were just me and him. (maybe same as yesterday scenario with QQ.)
He does not feel wanting me to massage him, and he requested for nonsense.
He asked me to massage his ankle, and I asked, where got people massage that part?
Then I think I can not control myself in the dream, and hugged him from the back around his neck (he was sitting in the dream.)
And he just allowed me to do that.
Next time we met, he came and approached me, and there was no other people existence.
He holds my hand, like it is an action that we should really do.
The next scene was I went to find him since we all took turns to get some quotes from each other, for remembrance.
He just wrote and acted like nothing happened before, that maybe everything was just a game.

Later Imran came back and took a note, that he wanted to marry to someone.
And it was actually my name which I never tell anyone, and it was the same with Lyn.
Lol, in the dream, it was "Xiao Fang."
He asked the girl to find him.
Then I went to find him, and he was waiting for me, in the same time, Lyn came and he promised me to tell clearly to her about their relationship.
We prepared for our wedding, but things were not going smoothly.
We went to a beach which he went to with his friends long time ago, and we found that one of his friends actually hide his feeling to me. (Lol... I think it must be QQ in reality)
So things changed and we might not have our marriage. (Plus in the dream I worry about my religious view and he might can not accept it.)
I hugged him tightly, feeling love, and feeling reluctant to separate from him, felling sad cause I have an instinct that we will separate soon.

The rest I forgot.
I think I brave to hug him from the first interaction in the dream cause in reality he did allow my rudeness and he can just accept everything I did to him.
No matter teasing, humiliating, pulled down his ego and things that might can hurt him.
Was him trapping for me to say it out?
Like last time?
And then again dumped me?
Is it he wanted to test whether I still have feeling to him so that he can feel superior?

I scared.
I can not bear the risks, the consequences anymore.
I can not lose him, at least we can be friend.

No way, if anyone wants me, he have to make effort to get me.
Since the junior took actions, I should just see what will happen if a guy wants a girl.
Maybe one day I can accept QQ like how I love CKM.
(Cause in the dream he does not even need to ask and I massaged him, hugged him but in reality QQ asked and requested for many times but I am still calm and not feeling to doing it.)

BE STRONG!