Stop Talking About Him

Recently I not only talked about him in blog, but also in reality.
And now I think I should stop playing with him.
I felt uncomfortable, like I am stealing my best friend's boyfriend.
Although I enjoyed this feeling with him, but I felt guilt in the same time.
I promise to myself, I will not talk swear words to him, not touch him, not getting provoked by him.

Today he laughed at me when the doctor said I have thin fat layer under submucosa.

I did realized they did not wait for me for lunch when I went to toilet and they all leaved me.
I think I will not feel comfortable with Lyn anymore.
Fragile friendship?

I walked to cafe with Pipah them and met YY and MY half way.
They told me about KM's project.

When I reached cafe, I saw they all were together.
I became the "others".
Not anymore the one he waited for lunch, not anymore the one she waited for lunch too.
He chose to sit in front Lyn. They are paired since last year.
He ate fast, I saw he was bored.
I started to make some topics.
YY told Imran that I tried to goda him by my heels.
Then KM looked at my shoes and I hided my shoes, then he showed me with his hand signals that I am short.
@.@
They asked him about Imran as his sgd mate during 1st year and he forgot it.
Then I said: "He this kind of no heart people no need to be friend with them one."
He showed his disagreement by giving kiss sign to Imran, hahahaaa!!!
The others asked him about other stuff he also cannot remember.
I mentioned again "No need to be friend with this no heart people."

Then I walked with YL, and walked very slow.
I knew he was waiting for Lyn, but do not know why then he walked to my side, and started to tease me.
Said, "where is SM? I cant see her."
Then I crossed him and walked with Imran, and told him: "This is called sweet!"
He said, "This is called beh paiseh!"
Then I ignored him and walked with Iki.
Iki also teased me, CKM then said: "You can see SM? I just can hear the kok kok kok only?"

I ignored him again.
Then Lyn asked me about how my pants are long, and I got laughed by them again.
He said "Not the pants long, your legs short!"
Then Lyn said: "No, the pants cut before."
I got more teases, he said: "Cut already still so long!!! Hahahaaaaaa!!!!"
Then he said why the others so bad one, and he said himself a nice guy, lol~

I shared a quote on my wall and only he can  see that.
I do not whether he notices it.
And today I just knew if that is a custom post, the one who can see the post can know the post is only for him.

"Yes, I am selfish. I dont like sharing you with people."

If I have to share, then I just will give to others.