First I hurt because he dates her tonight.
Second I hurt because he treats me like shit.
Third hurt is why I even bother anything about him.
I hate him, for now.
I seriously hate him, and I feel want to hurt him.
I felt I am violent and I hate this me.
Love is poison, can make people have such complex feeling, I do not want to fall in love anymore.
I do not want to hurt myself anymore.
Recent Life
On the way to be a better person.
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Slurred speech
I saw he messaged me while I was talking to my friend.
My brain stunted and I cant react properly.
My speech became slurred and not organised..
I was talking in Mandarin, my main language...
Why I am so easily affected by him?
He did not say anything more than greeting...
=.=
Moon, failure...
My brain stunted and I cant react properly.
My speech became slurred and not organised..
I was talking in Mandarin, my main language...
Why I am so easily affected by him?
He did not say anything more than greeting...
=.=
Moon, failure...
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Connected
I knew what he is thinking already.
He observed me the day we went for his birthday celebration.
I was bullying Lyn cause I knew everything I ask her to do in front him, she will do it for me even ordinary day she will not.
I think this is why he said my friends all tolerate with me.
Lol, if this is the incidence he took for reference, then I have nothing much to say.
I thought he was observing through normal days and that is why I did not deny it because it might be true, but I seriously look down of him if he ignored my tolerance to everyone in normal life and think me as a bad girl.
I do not need someone who cannot differentiate whether I am that kind of person or I am playing, or I am pranking.
He rather to appreciate girls who hide their true self in front him*I am saying generally girls will pretend nice in front of guys who they admire*, and mask who they really are.
While I like to do something that oppose what guys will like, and make myself even worse than the one who I really am, in front of the guy I admire.
I just hope the guy can see through me and find out the real me and believe that I am not that kind of girl I acted I am.
Yes, this is difficult, but it is the challenge I gave to the only one, this is my defense mechanism to filter the right guy who sincere to me.
I do not care now how he thinks about me, cause he failed the task.
And I do not need a guy who does not understand me.
He observed me the day we went for his birthday celebration.
I was bullying Lyn cause I knew everything I ask her to do in front him, she will do it for me even ordinary day she will not.
I think this is why he said my friends all tolerate with me.
Lol, if this is the incidence he took for reference, then I have nothing much to say.
I thought he was observing through normal days and that is why I did not deny it because it might be true, but I seriously look down of him if he ignored my tolerance to everyone in normal life and think me as a bad girl.
I do not need someone who cannot differentiate whether I am that kind of person or I am playing, or I am pranking.
He rather to appreciate girls who hide their true self in front him*I am saying generally girls will pretend nice in front of guys who they admire*, and mask who they really are.
While I like to do something that oppose what guys will like, and make myself even worse than the one who I really am, in front of the guy I admire.
I just hope the guy can see through me and find out the real me and believe that I am not that kind of girl I acted I am.
Yes, this is difficult, but it is the challenge I gave to the only one, this is my defense mechanism to filter the right guy who sincere to me.
I do not care now how he thinks about me, cause he failed the task.
And I do not need a guy who does not understand me.
Jealousy
I do not like when we are listening to one songs that ever played on his car, and think of him, together.
I do not feel comfortable with this.
Why I am not the only one?
Why should I share memories with another girl?
I just want to be one and only one for a guy.
If there is presence of another girl or girls, that is not what I want.
No, I deserved better.
I do not feel comfortable with this.
Why I am not the only one?
Why should I share memories with another girl?
I just want to be one and only one for a guy.
If there is presence of another girl or girls, that is not what I want.
No, I deserved better.
Monday, May 27, 2013
Harsh
Maybe he is right about me, but it is a bit harsh.
After my discussions with friends, I found that, human-human interactions need tolerances.
If a person want you in his/her life, they will try to tolerate.
And he looks me as a failure among human-being, and I actually can turn away and let him drift away from me.
He looks others comfortable naturally, while I am naturally irritating.
This is one of my problem too.
Not only him, all friends around me treat me like I am rubbish.
Lyn said me had been sensitive for some minor things.
But all those minor things make up life.
My life is miserable.
I can give an example as in, when you say good words to water, the formation of water changes.
And when he said me as a failure, then said me under-confidence, did he realize that, it is the reason why I am inferior?
I can sense people have bad impressions toward me, I can not pretend I do not know, that is why I am under-confident.
While people tend to bully and step beyond the line when they think they are close to each other.
He does not think we are that close, but I did.
That's is how the problem comes.
Mean, he does not think that we are close, and he does not want me to disturb his peaceful life, and he felt uncomfortable with me.
After my discussions with friends, I found that, human-human interactions need tolerances.
If a person want you in his/her life, they will try to tolerate.
And he looks me as a failure among human-being, and I actually can turn away and let him drift away from me.
He looks others comfortable naturally, while I am naturally irritating.
This is one of my problem too.
Not only him, all friends around me treat me like I am rubbish.
Lyn said me had been sensitive for some minor things.
But all those minor things make up life.
My life is miserable.
I can give an example as in, when you say good words to water, the formation of water changes.
And when he said me as a failure, then said me under-confidence, did he realize that, it is the reason why I am inferior?
I can sense people have bad impressions toward me, I can not pretend I do not know, that is why I am under-confident.
While people tend to bully and step beyond the line when they think they are close to each other.
He does not think we are that close, but I did.
That's is how the problem comes.
Mean, he does not think that we are close, and he does not want me to disturb his peaceful life, and he felt uncomfortable with me.
Sunday, May 26, 2013
I do not need
I dont need , I dont need, I dont need.
Usually people who said this kind of words means she/he seriously wants something very much.
I need to overcome my under-confidence.
I do not necessary to own pretty features, I need a kind heart.
Moon, be strong!
Usually people who said this kind of words means she/he seriously wants something very much.
I need to overcome my under-confidence.
I do not necessary to own pretty features, I need a kind heart.
Moon, be strong!
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Soul search
He helped me to so soul search.
I learnt this term from him.
People close with me know my flaws, and he is the one who told me so directly.
I think I was immature last time.
Jambu tried so hard to help me but I was so ignorant.
Yet he still tolerate with me.
Chris tried to help me too.
But because he was not as related to me, so he did not try hard.
Ming Ming was the one who trained me for two years, lol~
Although he did not really need to spend much efforts on me, just because he was closer to me, he can appear in front me, so the effects are the largest.
Well, I still admire him, but I think the feeling now is the same as my feeling to Jambu.
While I hate Chris although he did nothing wrong, just a projection of emotion, lol~
I learnt this term from him.
People close with me know my flaws, and he is the one who told me so directly.
I think I was immature last time.
Jambu tried so hard to help me but I was so ignorant.
Yet he still tolerate with me.
Chris tried to help me too.
But because he was not as related to me, so he did not try hard.
Ming Ming was the one who trained me for two years, lol~
Although he did not really need to spend much efforts on me, just because he was closer to me, he can appear in front me, so the effects are the largest.
Well, I still admire him, but I think the feeling now is the same as my feeling to Jambu.
While I hate Chris although he did nothing wrong, just a projection of emotion, lol~
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Last day
I saw him when I hugged my friends after my examination.
He was standing, I am not sure if he was looking at me.
But I looked at him for once, and he was like staring without focus on something.
I met him when I went to the bank.
I grated him and I was about to go, he offered to send me, asked me to wait him in the car with other guys.
I talked to the guys, and I broke his new pillow...
Errm, it was so embarrassing.
And lastly I acted like a kid that I asked him to stop the car somewhere.
Lol, totally I loss image.
Nevermind, I do not need to impress anyone anymore.
I will be the simply me, the original me.
Change?
No way.
He was standing, I am not sure if he was looking at me.
But I looked at him for once, and he was like staring without focus on something.
I met him when I went to the bank.
I grated him and I was about to go, he offered to send me, asked me to wait him in the car with other guys.
I talked to the guys, and I broke his new pillow...
Errm, it was so embarrassing.
And lastly I acted like a kid that I asked him to stop the car somewhere.
Lol, totally I loss image.
Nevermind, I do not need to impress anyone anymore.
I will be the simply me, the original me.
Change?
No way.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Last one
Tomorrow, termination on.
He told me he does not feel like having any Chinese-educated girl.
Hahahahaa, maybe it was not planned, but he did intend to tell me that.
Maybe I have chance to get another guy, but I wish to terminate my love life.
From tomorrow, I am free from those things.
I hope I will never fall in love in my future, this life and even future life-sss.
I reserved the place for him, anytime as long as he found my good, but it seems like impossible.
He knew all about me now, and he just looks me as another human-being.
I tried, I satisfied with my efforts.
Everyone should do the best for themselves, the best for me now is, forget the one who does not appreciate me and avoid myself from being hurt again.
Strength grew in you, Moon!
He told me he does not feel like having any Chinese-educated girl.
Hahahahaa, maybe it was not planned, but he did intend to tell me that.
Maybe I have chance to get another guy, but I wish to terminate my love life.
From tomorrow, I am free from those things.
I hope I will never fall in love in my future, this life and even future life-sss.
I reserved the place for him, anytime as long as he found my good, but it seems like impossible.
He knew all about me now, and he just looks me as another human-being.
I tried, I satisfied with my efforts.
Everyone should do the best for themselves, the best for me now is, forget the one who does not appreciate me and avoid myself from being hurt again.
Strength grew in you, Moon!
Suppression
Clicked on your name, read what we had discussed, I miss you already.
Tomorrow is the last day.
Can I cry?
Can I??
Looking at your photos...
I miss you.
Tomorrow is the last day.
Can I cry?
Can I??
Looking at your photos...
I miss you.
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
2 days more
I promised myself to give up.
2 days left, I should not disturb him from now on, so that my feeling can fade silently.
The sorrow is too much, the heart aching too pain.
As in when I think of him, I can cry if the situation allows me to.
My tears was running in my eyes and I have to hide my tears beside Ling Ling.
I was talking to Ling Ling when I stepped into the toilet, as I turned and looked at the mirror, I saw I was about to cry.
The crying feeling too strong and I need to suppress it.
But if there was no exam the next day, I will allow myself to cry.
2 days left, I should not disturb him from now on, so that my feeling can fade silently.
The sorrow is too much, the heart aching too pain.
As in when I think of him, I can cry if the situation allows me to.
My tears was running in my eyes and I have to hide my tears beside Ling Ling.
I was talking to Ling Ling when I stepped into the toilet, as I turned and looked at the mirror, I saw I was about to cry.
The crying feeling too strong and I need to suppress it.
But if there was no exam the next day, I will allow myself to cry.
Monday, May 20, 2013
Thrill
He said good night?
He sent me icon??
Homaigodddd!!
He must be very blurred that time since he was sleeping.
Hmmmm...
And I was happy for whole night and day.
Ok, stop!!
The icon just a smiley icon does not mean anything special!!
Moon! Steady!!
He sent me icon??
Homaigodddd!!
He must be very blurred that time since he was sleeping.
Hmmmm...
And I was happy for whole night and day.
Ok, stop!!
The icon just a smiley icon does not mean anything special!!
Moon! Steady!!
Sunday, May 19, 2013
思念
想你了,我可以告诉你吗?
是不是有种默契,叫做我不找你,你就不找我?
感觉比较多的那一方总是输家。。。
当你了解我更多,还是认为我很幼稚?
你把我当成解闷的对象了吗?
想起我,是因为无聊,想听故事了?
不应该有痛苦,至少我们无话不谈,至少你不把我推开。
你知道,人是会得寸进尺的,尤其是女人。
当我从你身上得到越多,我却想要的越多。
我拥有你的时间,可以和你聊天,与此同时,拥有你时间的人,很多。
我了解了你的想法,清楚你的个性,明白你的嘴硬。
我,还喜欢这样的你吗?
我是不是只是追求你的神秘?
当你一一剖开你的心事,我,还喜欢那个你吗?
是不是有种默契,叫做我不找你,你就不找我?
感觉比较多的那一方总是输家。。。
当你了解我更多,还是认为我很幼稚?
你把我当成解闷的对象了吗?
想起我,是因为无聊,想听故事了?
不应该有痛苦,至少我们无话不谈,至少你不把我推开。
你知道,人是会得寸进尺的,尤其是女人。
当我从你身上得到越多,我却想要的越多。
我拥有你的时间,可以和你聊天,与此同时,拥有你时间的人,很多。
我了解了你的想法,清楚你的个性,明白你的嘴硬。
我,还喜欢这样的你吗?
我是不是只是追求你的神秘?
当你一一剖开你的心事,我,还喜欢那个你吗?
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Thursday, May 16, 2013
The truth revealed
He was not him through the whole time I like him.
From the start, he was having some changes, slowly...
It is weird that both special guys I met in my life really different from others.
I am kind of in accepting state, cause I am a weird girl too.
But I feel stupid now: How I had so much feelings when he was struggling?
He was right, I do not know anything about him.
The one I like is a guy who is happy all the time, be nice to anyone, sunshine.
He changed to become a guy who made me sad, made me feel bad, but I still like him??
Now, he talked anything about him to me, nice to me and have not telling me to leave for his peaceful life...
He is a nice guy.
From the start, he was having some changes, slowly...
It is weird that both special guys I met in my life really different from others.
I am kind of in accepting state, cause I am a weird girl too.
But I feel stupid now: How I had so much feelings when he was struggling?
He was right, I do not know anything about him.
The one I like is a guy who is happy all the time, be nice to anyone, sunshine.
He changed to become a guy who made me sad, made me feel bad, but I still like him??
Now, he talked anything about him to me, nice to me and have not telling me to leave for his peaceful life...
He is a nice guy.
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Custom
1 October
~To my little prince~
5 October
Sadness keeps engulfing me...
15 October
我到了这个时候还是一样
夜里的寂寞容易叫人悲伤
我不敢想的太多
因为我一个人
迎面而来的月光拉长身影
漫无目的地走在冷冷的街
我没有你的消息
因为我在想你
爱我别走
如果你说 你不爱我
不要听见你真的说出口
再给我一点温柔
16 October
不懂为什么会变成这样?
没听说,也转折的太快。
心是痛的,泪也干了。
永远原来也只是那么长。。。
终究成了陌生人?
20 October
How deep is you love?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2hsA2Qm2xE&feature=share
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJY9wYodL4Q
22 October
This year Halloween looks like difficult to
get sweets lo >.<
25 October
26 October
貪念永遠都會扮演最體貼你的方式出現在你的心中,讓你用一生的時間來追逐你追不到的東西。
嗔心永遠都會扮演保護你的角色,燃燒你的慈悲,點燃你的仇恨。傲慢永遠都會扮演奉承你的侍者 ,隱藏你的缺點,放大他人的缺點。而它們會趕走快樂、幸福、清淨,迎來痛苦、嫉妒、憤怒,故我們要懂得取捨。
There are 2 type of people who will not be
in love
1. Who will not fall for anyone
2. Who will not fall by anyone
There are 2 type of people easily being
dumped
1. Who does not know love
2. Who does not know make love
Those people actually initially like one
person, and lastly end with like to be one person.
Should have stable mood.
Wont let it happen again.
^.^
=.= 3 hours of sleep???
27 October
手牵手一步两步三步四步 望着天,
看星星一颗两颗三颗四颗 连成线,
背对背, 默默许下心愿,
看远方的星 如果听得见,
他一定实现。
28 October
I have a wish came true!!!
You know what I mean!!!
30 October
There are people who teased one who is
absent to entertain a girl.
Bad.
3 November
How deep is your love??
I really mean to learn
Cause we're living in a world of fools
Breaking us down
When they all should let us be
We belong to you and me
4 November
If you hate me...........................
Delete me
If you think I'm nice...................
Like my status
If you think I'm a good friend..... Comment
on this status
If u ever liked me.......................
Poke me, I won't tell
If you like me now......................
Inbox me a :), I won't tell
If you want to date me................
Inbox me a ♥, I won't tell
If you are brave........................
You'd put this as your status
7 November
8 November
第一次那么气!!气死人气死人!!!
*Just because I translated The Scientist and lost it*
1 December
The sun goes down
The stars come out
And all that counts
Is here and now
My universe will never be the same
I'm glad you came
7 December
Sometimes when we touched...
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=489856074387626
18 December
I love you, Mr.Sunshine!!!
ただ、君を愛してる
19 December
20 December
我們總忽略愛著我們的人
卻愛著忽略我們的人
我們總愛著傷害我們的人
卻傷害著愛我們的人...
20 December
Hey, what do you want from me
Just don't give up I'm workin' it out
Please don't give in, i won't let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around~~
最美的不是下雨天
是曾與你躲過雨的屋簷
緩緩飄落的楓葉像思念
為何挽回要趕在冬天來之前
愛你穿越時間 兩行來自秋末的眼淚
讓愛滲透了地面 我要的只是妳在我身邊
24 December
31 December
2012 is almost over :)
Inbox me something you always wanted to
tell me (be honest and I dare you :D)
I promise it will be between us :)
Post this as your status , maybe people
will
surprise you :)
*He followed me the post this as his status..*
2 January
15 January
I think of you, recently...
16 January
疯了疯了,快疯了!
25 January
真正愛你的男人
不會在意你的外表
不會介意你的身材
因為他真的愛你♥
29 January
30 January
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-iqTCGxyNM
6 February
我說我想你,你就來見我,好不好
8 February
Ladies(and men), i am up for grabs this
Valentine. So whoever that is interested to have a go with me, call me at XXXXXXXXXX
12 February
我很想你!
15 February
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91MS_rt4osY
怎么办,爱情甜又酸,偷偷爱你,快乐又孤单。
19 February
很多事情 不是誰說了就算
即使傷心 結果還是自己擔
多少次失望表示著多少次期盼
事實證明 幸福很難
我們之間 不是誰說了就算
拉扯的愛 徒增結局的難堪
一百次相愛只要有一次的絢爛
下一次 會更勇敢
當冬夜漸暖 當大海也不再那麼藍
當月色的純白變得陰暗
那只是代表快樂不再那麼簡單
當冬夜漸暖 當夏夜的樹上不再有蟬
當回憶老去的痕跡斑斑
那只是因為悲傷從來 都不會有答案
當冬夜漸暖 當青春也都煙消雲散
當美麗的故事都有遺憾
那只是習慣把愛 當作喜歡
重要的是 我們如何愛過那一段
20 February
Wish came true~
Emo-ing...
不做仲,不做保,不做媒人一世好
22 February
Emo emo emo...
3 March
机会给你啦,就不会自己打铁趁热T.T
4 March
心情愉快,没有乌云笼罩着我啦~~~
7 March
想不到继续用我来当泡妞的话题,还真不简单 =.=
8 March
12 March
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6CcJV05uNE&feature=youtu.be
我还是爱着你 我还是念着你
连我也不相信 自己
我怎么学不会忘记
我还是爱着你 为什么我不甘心
如果没有拥有就没有失去
那为何我还会伤心
13 March
我不想 再想你的笑容 我会痛 懂不懂
我的心 在跳动 喊着说它要自由
我不想 再想你的温柔 多温柔 也不属于我
时间会帮助我 换一个梦
14 March
明明就很有灵感,怎么会功亏一篑!!
18 March
20 March
我已剪短我的发 剪断了牵挂 剪一地不被爱的分岔
长长短短 短短长长 一吋一吋在挣扎
我已剪短我的发 剪断了惩罚 剪一地伤透我的尴尬
反反覆覆 清清楚楚 一刀两断 你的情话 你的谎话
21 March
22 March
There is only piano accompany me the whole
day,
cello had fallen asleep, laying there
silently, looks old.
I think you had showed clearly,
I know and I understand,
you never feel reluctant.
You said you are sad, I do not believe.
Hold your hands and we spent time together,
it was just the past.
Hope that he really love you more than I
do,
just it worth me to force myself to leave.
How much you want me to think myself
pathetic,
I am reluctant to separate with you,
why I still have to smile and pretend?
I have no such talent, tolerate with you
and accept him.
Do not worry about me, I will be fine.
You are far gone away, me too will walk
away slowly,
why I have to care of your feeling even you
are the one who broke me?
I really do not own that talent, I can not
be so quiet this soon,
I will learn to let you go, because I love
you too much.
This is a sad guy song, who his lover leave
him and will never come back..
Hope it will never happen on you, hope your
lover love you as much as you love her.
23 March
Another sad guy song. This song is
suggested to sing to a girl.
In a messy city, even wind has no freedom.
On the busy street, I am the loneliest guy.
Am I being charmed by love?
How I have such greediness thought again?
How much you love me?
Will it be long?
Will you leave me?
Even you look like obeying me, actually you
loyal to yourself.
You wander along with love, never see you
surrender.
I always make mistakes, like a busy
spinning silly gasing, tiring.
Non-stop spinning, let it freely spin and I
never control it,
I just cant stop it.
I want to love you so much, this is the thought
that I cant endure.
I want to own your happiness, anger,
sadness and moodiness.
You had occupied me, but you had not
belonged to me.
How you want me not to guess what you are
thinking about?
I want to love you so much, this is the
torture that I cant bear.
Can I request you do not, do not choose to
hide.
I just want to love you, I want to love you
too much,
Is it I can just guess, just can guess is
it your face in this heavy mist?
30 March
发于情,止乎礼.super
nice feeling!!!
不同的人,為你做同一件事,你會感到天壤之別。
因為我們在意的,往往不是人做的事,而只是做事的人。
After finishing chocolate waffle,
waiting for a cup of nice milk,
Oppa sits with me face to face,
drawing some symbols on each other's palms~
Dont look at the other girls~
Dont bother what they said~
You are mine, mine!!
Dont talk about the other girls~
I am yours, yours~
Lets make a pinky promise that
you will never leave me~
Yeah!
I am cutest!
2 April
3 April
Someone's version more kiyooo...
I want see I want see!!!
https://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=2921623575031
5 April
8April
10 April
據說:你夢到了一個人,是因為那個人在想你。
Someone appeared in my dream.
He kept hiding, having his own tasks, and not showing up even he promised to...
I kept hoping, and lastly I disappointed...
Too bad, why I have this kind of complicated dream??
I want a pass!!!!
It hurts, when I am not able to talk to you
It hurts, when I am not able to share
my feelings with you
It hurts, when I am not able to see you
But, you are in my heart
Feeling you inside me is my art
I just need to close my eyes for the
conversation to start
I love you and I miss you too,
I care for you and need you too
Be mine forever.
18 April
21 April
我说不出来为什么爱你 但我知道 你就是我不爱别人的理由
25 April
My friend tagged me this and you have the sexiest body, lol~
27 April
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5XuXKxjdEI
我就是这样的女生。。
29 April
Is it too late to ask for love, is it wrong
to feel right?
Drenched
When minutes become hours
When days become years
And I dont know where you are
Color seems so dull without you
Have we lost our minds?
What have we done?
But it all doesnt seem to matter anymore
When you kissed me on that street, I kissed
you back
You held me in your arms, I held you in
mine
You picked me up to lay me down
When I look into your eyes
I can hear you cry for a little bit more of
you and I
Im drenched in your love
Im no longer able to hold it back
Is it too late to ask for love?
Is it wrong to feel right?
When the world is winding down
Thoughts of you linger around
Have we lost our minds?
What have we done?
But it all doesnt seem to matter anymore
When you kissed me on that street, I kissed
you back
You held me in your arms, I held you in
mine
You picked me up to lay me down
When I look into your eyes
I can hear you cry for a little bit more of
you and I
Im drenched in your love
Im no longer able to hold it back
30 April
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=4805796099679
1 May
我喜欢你,真的与你无关吗?
无话不谈,却谈不了我心底想说的话。
“爱真的需要勇气,只要你一个眼神肯定,我的爱就有意义”
你说你是花心大萝卜,我怎么还喜欢你相信你,这是自寻死路吧?
我想要淡淡的爱恋,我可以不在乎你跟谁又去了哪里,只要你不越线,玩累了回到我身边。。
可我也怕你,泥泞深陷,无法自拔,我不忍心,,,
不会有结果,我能承受吗?
4 May
This is your favourite song that you even
planned to play it on your wedding.
Hmmm, meaningful song...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvwuAGHJP24&feature=share
8 May
我多希望有一天你會像我需要你一樣需要我。
看到自己喜歡的人主動來找妳的時候 最開心了
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