Miss Him

Will be 4 days before I can see him again...
Although he did not go back...
But we are not going to meet up except for academic matter T.T

Friends talked about Jambu...
And I still can not accept the fact that I broken up because of distance, and another guy, again.
I learned not to lie, from Jambu, he taught me not to tell lie to friends.
So, I hide.
I scared of how people look at me, this time.
Maybe the most important, I scared of how Ming Ming thought of me.
Am I a person who not loyal in relationship?
Am I a unfaithful girlfriend??
Am I mature enough to involve in relationship??

I think I'm not prepared yet...
I am so scared now...

I always think that Ming Ming will not like me, this type of girl, who "dump" boyfriend for another guy.
Even myself hate this kind of girls.

I ashamed if I tell him I like him, and he ask me back, since when this happened?
When I still with my ex-boyfriend.
So?
Maybe he is not the right guy for me, and I'm not good enough for him.

And tonight, he did not want to chat with me.
My conclusion, yesterday was my fantasy, and I'm just the "spare" to chat with when he has no one to chat to, or he feel bored.

I do not want to feel this pathetic.
T.T
I want to be the one.