Soul

It is escaping, to somewhere else.
I cant find it.

I think I always find help from people who I think can help me.
3 guys in 3 years.

Each with their own believes, and all gave up.

He is the one who willing to help me the most, and I know that my case is too serious till he cant help anymore.

I should help myself now...

Down

For the last time, I chatted him.
I will never have extra feeling to him anymore.





I am hurt.
Too many thoughts run in my mind, how if I hold somemore and he will like me?
How if he just does not realize he likes me too?
How if he just want to see how far I can do for him?

And, I think this kind of relationship is not what I want.
Again, I have to remind myself that,
what I want,
a relationship that both feel comfortable and relax, no stress, no games.

Huuuu, let him free, let me free...

New Hair style~

Too short, and I found out it is difficult to set >.<

Swim coach

Waiting for the special one to teach me swim?

I hoped for this before.
But I did not get a boyfriend who can swim.

I always hope to do something with the special one.
And I think I lost many chances to enjoy my life.

He said, just a dinner, just go and enjoy your dinner.
I can just go out with any girl anytime anywhere.
It is just normal.
How you treat your girls friend, and you can treat the guys friend like that.

It was a Valentine's Dinner, he did not care.
He did not care about me.

Blended

My mind blended now @.@
Why suddenly he made this announcement??
And why I feel he did this because I forced him to admit??
@.@
Maybe he want to cheat to himself, to force himself to like girls, but me analyze to him and made him clear??

Hmmm, is good for him to know his real gender >.<

Arrrggghhhh, I told him that if he is a gay, I will feel better, is that the reason??
@.@

Huh??

OMG!!! He really a gay har!!!!

Ok, my 1st gay friend!!!

Too excited!!!!

Swimming

I can swim for 5m now!!!
Swimming is fun ^.^

And he is not online whole day, too busy??

Blue

I'm blue.
I do not dare to find him to chat..
T.T

I'm sad...
Can he start chat with me first??

I miss him, but he does not like me to disturb him T.T

Miss him

I irritated him I think T.T
He not allowed me to say I miss him, he do not want me to miss him, so??

So, I can not say out, and I still miss him T.T

And now he do not want to layan me anymore T.T

Ming ming T.T

Tease

I brought back an English novel and ECG make easy, I read for 5 minutes, I fell asleep >.<

My dad teased me that he watched me study for about a decade and half, he never see "hardworking" on me =.=

He knew me the most...
Argghh, if I'm that kind of hardworking girl, I will not still stay in Medic 2, maybe I am in UTP or taking JPA to oversea already =.=

A bah, you still ask me to study to be a doctor =.=

Chat

I miss him.. T.T
He is not good to me anymore...

Anti stalker Tool?

Is there really a program to see who is stalking to our facebook profile??
Hmmmm....
Like that he sure know from a very long time that I stalked him a lor =.=
The girl list who stalked him also he knew all already, still pretend not know =.=

He should feel super superior with a lot girls like him =.=

Unsatisfying....

開學了，你即將搬進去一間空空的租屋。 你會想先搬哪一樣家具？
1. 衣櫃
2. 檯燈
3. 書桌
4. 床鋪

選好了嗎？

選衣櫃。你單身的原因是：對愛情太死心眼。
衣櫃是這四個家具中最笨重、也是最穩固的物品。你的愛情觀十分執著，一旦喜歡了，不管對方接不接受，你都很難收回好感。對於認定的感情，即使覺得不適合也不願放手。讓自己錯失許多其他機會。

選檯燈。你單身的原因是：太孩子氣。
檯燈是這四個家具中最明亮、也是最脆弱的物品。你嚮往高調、快樂的愛情，不喜歡談太遙遠的計畫，也討厭對方把你當小孩子訓話，不能接受因為某些壓力而必須談地下情。或許你在人前是穩重的，但一旦進入愛情，你會相當任性與孩子氣。

選書桌。你單身的原因是：不喜歡被束縛或是尚未走出上一段陰影。
書桌是相當個人、具隱私的家具。會選書桌的你，覺得愛情是一種束縛。你嚮往自由，害怕因為愛情而被侷限個人空間。或許你心中早有感情投射的對象，才會使你遲遲不想展開新戀情。

選床鋪。你單身的原因是：說多做少的浪漫派。
床鋪讓人聯想到休息、作夢。對於愛情，你有很多遐想，也列舉了許多戀人的條件。但你卻是個喜歡高談闊論，卻極少行動的浪漫主義派。一旦遇上的心儀的對象，很難忍受對方小小的缺陷。所以一直很難遇到符合你心中想像的對象，只好選擇單身。

He is satisfied with his life~~~

1st gay friend

I feel better if he is a gay~~
Hahahaha!!!

Then I no need to bother the gender, to like her as a girl~
Like what she said, I can just treat the gay friends same as the girls friend~~~~

Then I no need to bother whether she likes me or not, I can just treat her good, like how I treat my friends~

1 more thing that I like about her.
She stands so long, 22 years, and never chase a girl, or if he is a she, then she is a bot lousy to chase who she loves!! @.@

Yet, I believe that he is just waiting for the right one to come to his side, he do not mind how many time he waited, he just wants "The One".

Then I respect his patient and his discipline to ignore all the seducing girls around~

He quite strong in holding his own principles, I found some girls who match him, just the way they are, my friends, ZL and maybe KY.

KY should suit him by her intelligent and her cuteness, and her maturity *sometime =.=*
ZL suits him because they both have their stands, and they both are confident to themselves, no matter what people said.

Why I obsessed to pair him to my friends??
Cause the good thing should reserve for people around me.
So that I can share his kindness, and most important, I can see him bullied by his girlfriend, Muahahahahaha!!!

Gay

He is really a gay???!!!!

Even his friends said so!!
Muahahaha!!!
If like that no wonder la~~~~

Then he can be she, and that's why I can continue to be her friend~~~

Lol~~~

Bored

I think I bored him...
Huhuhuhu...
I am not interested enough...
Hmmmmm.....

Ok, let's forget him...

Down

There is reason for this, is him...

Maybe the feeling of bo gam wan??

I should not avoid him this morning...
I want to be his "The One".
I should work hard to be "The One"

It is so risky...
Now already feel like in hell,
If worker harder, I will go crazy...

I hate this...

On and Off

Me on, he off.

Failed

Errrrr.... Totally failed the chest X-ray =.=
Hmmmm... Will the whole paper fail too??

Depressed me a lot...
I do not want to think about it already...

Said "Happy Birthday" to him this morning, did not sing song to him...

I was avoiding him...

He knew that and helped me I think?

Saw him danced anywhere and anytime, he is cute ^.^
And I knew I cannot always take peeks on him, I controlled myself.
Advantages: I will not think about him. I will not take more scenes. I will not attract to him.
Disadvantages: I miss him...

And I do not want to ask him about appointment tomorrow, he forgot it already.

Happy Birthday!!

He is now chatting with friends.. His birthday ma, and he also no need study also, gifted mind =.=
Why I do not get that brain!!!!

My little brain cannot function well pun T.T

Ko-k

That day asked him to join archery, and he really did.
Luckily that I know him is not following my opinion...
Cause he is joining whatever left a space for him.
He knew I do not want to join the same Ko-k with him, so that I will not fall more toward him...

And,
why I still thinking about him?
Maybe just because tomorrow will be his birthday...

Sadness

I feel sad...
I dreamt of him last night...
And we were together, he likes me as I do...
And the 2 sided feeling is called LOVE...
This morning, saw him sleeping and did not set his hair, hahahahaa!!!
Studying until no time to set hair??
And later, he is so so catch people's eyes with his tie >.<
How many ties he has??
Yellow, black and silver??

T.T
But I'm not the one he want to attract to... T.T
I think his admirers all feel very happy to see him too...
And I found another girl to join his fans' club...

That's make me down today...
Plus, I'm in menstrual pain..
Watching movie during quarantine quite relieving pain, the abdominal muscles help to compress the uterus I think?

Now when I look at him, I can not afford the feeling of crushing on my chest..
Because I think of his admirers, because I'm not his "The One", because he is not mine...
Jealousy, make me ugly, and I do not want to be an ugly girl.
Now, not anymore should I forget him, is "Can I forget about him?"

And so, I will not look at him anymore, I will not let myself fall for him anymore...
This is not love, this is not.

Calm Down

Now not feeling stress already...
Give up...
Hmmmmm, too good to have blog and tell everything, but if without *Blue Rain* stalker will be better =.=

Feeling sleepy, should go to bed soon..

Blackout

Heard that people celebrating birthday in DM2, him???

This is his first birthday after we know each other, and I am unable to do anything...

Can I be like what Ming Ming's mum said, girls can just find a guy and marry...

T.T

No, I do not want a life like that T.T
Why medical school??? T.T

Too much drama watching T.T
Stop dreaming!!!!

Dying

Seriously I am stress dying now!!!

How I can remember all these things????!!!!!

I am going to fail this exam, no hope, will sleep in 1 hour time =.=

Stress

I always feel stress with exam...

And now I am in highly blank in my mind....

I hope I got Ming Ming's gifted mind T.T

And he will say, Why you complain somemore T.T

PMS

Seriously, now I confirm why I so down and tired T.T

And now I'm so no in mood to study, today not study whole day already T.T

Arrrgggghhhh!!!!
Exam should not be the motivation for me to study, exam is to test what I had learnt....
Why I forget this concept since my Form 4???

I started to be lazy and lost my discipline T.T

Moon!!!
You should change now!!! 6 years you did not study properly already!!!

Shocked

Errrmmm, he said himself short??
Thought that he satisfied enough with his height, he kept saying:
"Hello, I am taller than most of the Asian guys lo"
"I already above the Asian guys average la"


"I tamak ma want 183cm"
Errrr, he do not know what I am think this morning, right???
What for so tall T.T
Now the distance already 25cm, he wants make it 30cm T.T
Sure he wants 170cm long legs pretty girlfriends, who still can wear high heels somemore.
Now 178cm, if the girls wear high heel then he will appear short gua...
Lyn and Jo 165-168cm like that wear 5 inches also approach his height already...

Lyn and Jo still consider not enough long legs is it?? T.T

T.T

Admirer

Got a friend, do not know whether he will change to admirer or not...
I am occupied with another guy, and, I'm not that kind of girl who wants to hurt guys...
Tell me what to do? To prevent he will not experience what I experienced from the "another guy"?
The "another guy" does not want me, and there are guys who want to make me happy...

And if I tell the "another guy", he sure will very happy and ask me to try accept the friend!!!

Ming ming, you very bad T.T

SBQ 1

Did studies hard these few days..
Went to exam hall this morning, saw that he not yet sign his attendance.
When I turned to my back, saw him, errmmm...
He stood beside YC, who is very tall, so suddenly he looks so skinny and so short, hahahaha!!!

Then again he showed his military way to say "Hello" @.@
Known that he is weirdo =.=
But I just like the way he is.And I did not know how to react and just ignored him..
Kind of avoid him..
Cause I blanked again...
Errrr, was I looked stupid? Or actually he acted stupid??
But he just faced me like nothing!!!! Which I cannot do it!!!
He should help me to avoid him @.@
Then I kept take peeks on him...
Harrr, still feel that he is so charming T.T
I should not feel like that T.T
It is just like he is shining and the light surround him @.@
Makes me attracted @.@

So, I went for exam.
And this is the second time I nervous until feel uncomfortable and have to relieve in toilet @.@
The first was during my SEQ paper of second Pro 1 exam.
Haiz...

So, I answered all the questions, but not knowing correct or not.

Lunch time met him and he asked for my exam...
Gave him a "=.=" face.
And when I complaint to him in facebook, he just acted like another person!!!!
Fine!!!

Wrong Message

Errmmm, he is chatting with someone else...
And sent the message to me =.=

And, what should I feel?
Sad??
Nope, I never think that he just chat with me.
Do not mind?
Nope, if do not mind how come I express here.

Maybe I should stop chat with him.
Errrr, am I bothered so much??

=.=
Dunno the answer.
My heart with emptiness.

玩你的人和愛你的人」區別

玩你的人：半夜會找你打電話聊天到很晚。
愛你的人：會告訴你不要聊那麼晚。

玩你的人：他會找你出去玩，叫你放棄正事。
愛你的人：他會催你好好工作，踏踏實實。

玩你的人：在你生病時，會講好話關心你。
愛你的人：在你生病時，他會關心到你煩，並強迫你去看醫生。

玩你的人：他會盡量說好話來討好你，你也會覺得很開心。
愛你的人：他所說的話，都是關心你的，但是通常像是在命令。

玩你的人：他什麼事情都會配合你，只要你開心。
愛你的人：他會幫你辨別是非，但是你會感覺他管的太多。

玩你的人：他說他要給你最大的快樂。
愛你的人：他只能給你保證，你跟他在一起，他是最快樂的。

玩你的人：他在意你的生活細節，即使你做錯了什麼，他也不會指出
來。
愛你的人：他在意你的一舉一動，告訴你什麼地方錯了，什麼地 方該如何做，該如何與別人交往。

玩你的人：他不會在意你去做什麼，與什麼人交往。
愛你的人：他很在意你去做什麼，與什麼人交往。他還會告戒你不要
與什麼人交往

玩你的人：他只想要現在
愛你的人：他已經預見未來，該怎麼自我努力，好好給你幸福。

玩你的人：他會說“我喜歡你！
愛你的人：他會說 “我愛你 。

如果， 你愛過或者被愛過，那麼，你會感到這些話千真萬確.......




我遇过的人，真心爱我，但也陪我聊得很晚，因为他懂我需要他，我需要倾诉，所以他牺牲睡眠，牺牲时间，陪我聊。。
就算是玩我的人，他也要我踏踏实实的念书，爱我的人，更要我不在懒散。
爱我的人，我生病时，他无能为力。
不管是爱我的人，还是玩我的人，都要我不要评论他人。
真心对待朋友，不要心存恶念，私心。。
那个爱我的人，说他很快乐，就算我不在身边，就算只是想念，也可以让他快乐。。。
那个不懂爱的人，从不纠正我错误，让我得过且过，那个爱我的人，纠正我的错误，但他并不能监控，所以失败，那个玩我的人，纠正我的错误，但最后挫败。
那个爱我的人，说他爱我，那个玩我的人，说过他想我，那个不懂爱的人，从没说过什么，但他竟然嫌弃我没对他说爱？？？！！！


总的来说，不管是爱我的人，玩我的人，还是不懂爱的人，他们都很成熟，可恨相见恨早，可能相见恨晚，可能一切还太快，所以都没成了，但他们都是我心中觉得值得的。







只有一个贱男我永远看不起他。

Strange Feeling

From yesterday chat, I feel my trust on him more than 70% already...

Why???

And I have a weird feeling now...
Confident???
I have no more doubt that he will reply all my questions my problems...
I feel myself closer to him, he really treats me as a friend now, not the superficial one.

I can tell him all my daily life stuffs and he will not say why I ask for weird questions.

**Btw, I am in PMS and I slept for 7-8hours per day still feeling tired compared to friends slept just a few hours... I'm so dead T.T**

Trust

He asked me what I want to hide somemore..
Sure la, how he expects me being rejected and acts like nothing happened?

The deepest part of mine showed here already...

He asked me not to trust him...
Errrrmmm...
I think I just trust him for 70%??

Now I feel more relieved, seriously, not so suffer.
All major memories threw to him, and deleted from my brain.
And he may save or not save it.
I do not want to recall already.

I never ask him like me or not, I never tell him I'm sad.
That is the part I do not trust him.
I scared if I tell him those things, we will not be friend anymore.

Jambu know me not trust him fully...
How Jambu can sense that??

Stalker Moon

Saw him online, or appear online ^.^
My heart missed one beat >.<

**Because he wants to reply his friend post.. T.T**

Lier

Why he lied to me that he was going to sleep already??
And I saw him on and off fr a few times...
Errr....

Non of my business, do not find him anymore!!!

Just now what I want to say is, he is very kind and do not want to hurt me, treats me not bad and courtesy or what so ever... =.=

Not anymore.

Aims

I set a few new aims after talking to WC yesterday night.
1. Continue Exercising
2. Continue Studying
3. Improve English
4. Maintain Appearance

So, that is the main aims.

To success 1.
Jog for 1 hour per day (3 rounds of golf court)
Massaging my calfs (using lotions)
Learn dance (Belly Dance??)

To success 2.
Read the note of the same day and for the next day.
Write 2 summaries of what I learnt on that day.

To success 3.
Hear English News everyday.
Read English stuffs more and especially during holiday.
Talk more to Lyn and Amu and apply in discussion.
Listen to English songs.

To success 4.
Keep using facial products.
Keep apply lotions on body.
Set hair.
Buy appropriate Outfit (No Lala please =.=)
Sleep earlier.
Control food intake (Suffering >.<)

Wiser

Hope I can be wiser...

Stalker Moon on 15.2.2012

He come back and on his facebook now...
Perhaps went dinner??
Can I chat him??
I am stable with my emotion now...

If chat, relieve the feeling of missing him, but make myself fall more...

Lol, Moon's fantasy again~~

Will not chat him~~

Stalker Moon!!

Today mood better, maybe yesterday talk to him and relieve.

This afternoon no find him to chat at all, and he just off his facebook.
Tonight he will take bus back here..

Tearing of my heart

Using my own story to teach him how to see girls admire him...
My heart is in severe bleeding...
I should feel calm and steady after telling all that...
I should feel glad cause after that he will help me to avoid us to be close to each other.
I should feel nothing cause I throw out all thoughts in my mind.

Soon, it'll be fine.

想念

最难受的思念，不是对方不知道你的思念，而是他知道却无所谓。有些人，无论你怎么对他好，他也不会留意，因为他的生命里，你显得是多么的微不足道。

Tests

Asked him to answer a lot of psychological tests,
knowing that he just treat me as close friend,
and he likes girls that can impress him physically,
and he will introduced the girls who confessed to him to his friends despite whether the friends like her or not,
he likes an extraordinary, strong feeling relationship, example maybe "rampas people gf, or die hard" mia, hmmmm, not suit me...
He also possibles to fall in love with classmate because he likes hidden relationship.
Haiz, unfortunately I failed to impress him, Hahahahahaha!!!
Really very accurate >.<

Ok, I just treat him as friend now~~~

Wanna Go Home

Totally 偷偷的爱
Totally 头痛的爱
Totally 爱
Totally 投入的爱
投入你 透露的爱
Totally 爱

你的笑眯眯 我的小秘密~~

Feel want escape to home~~

Co-incident

Why everytime when I face the laptop, from away from sleep or something, he will be there, and after awhile, he off??

Totally no fade.

Secret

Saw his friend tagged him with the girl he likes.

Happy Valentine's to him.

Broken

Brother and sister...

Imagination

Let me do a good ending...

He come back from his hometown, on that night of she confessed to her.
He actually want to tell her he likes her too, face to face.
And they live a happy ever after.

Hahaha.
Cheat myself.

Real Confession

Yes, I confessed with him, and yes, I got what I think of.
And now...
No more imagination.
Close File.

Confess

I confessed to him, and he can not get me...
T.T

He asked me for top 5 handsome in our campus..
I asked him the guys I always look at, or just appear handsome..
told him just 1 I look at, and he is CKM..
And my hands become shaky, my heartbeat raised, my face red...
And then asked him satisfied or not.
He said satisfied.
And then he continued asking me the top 5,  =.=

Ok, fine...
He did not get me.
And he just treat me as friend.

情感

我说，他现在是把我当成小朋友吧？
他是肯定我是不会喜欢上他的。。
所以他会对我好，就算以后有女朋友了也一样吧？
就这样，友达以上，恋人未满的关系吗？
我想，我也心甘情愿吧。。。
没开始过，也就不会结束。。。
想想，自从那次unfriend他后，他就没去喜欢我的状况啊，照片啊的。。。
我好想念他会主动喜欢我的po的日子。。

Not brave

Typed in chatbox and not brave to send that...

*****
i miss u but i cant chat u lo...
u always dun1 to chat with me 1
always say y u ask so much
u no need study arr
i want go out liao
i want go sleep liao
all kind of rejecting me mia reasons
when i say I miss u also
u dun feel happy pun
i noe i am jus a kid in yr eyes
but then i will try to be feminine in tis future 1 year
become pretty sexy in 1 year time
see u will look at me a a girl..
T.T
or juz friendzone me??
****

Ming Ming....

When I see your face

This is what I want to find from last time ^.^

I miss Ming Ming~~

Chattime~~

Hehe, second time chat with him for so long ^.^

About 3 hours?？
Ok, charged for 3 days~~ Cant find him in these 3 days!!!
Although wanna to know the results, but he should chat me first!!!

First Kiss

Touching

Watched 将爱进行到底 Eternal Moment
Touching movie...
I like the 1st and 3rd story, more romantic, and the 2nd story is too real...

And he replied my chat!!!
He is busy with his football training. And he said sorry for no reply ^.^

Envy

Who I envy with??
His daughter...

She will be the one who tortures him the most, while he willing to experience that..
She can see him once her eyes open, be will him since her life begins.

Daughter was the lover of a man from previous life.
She can mess his hair, she can angry with him and he will make her happy again without any doubt...

Unconditionally give her anything she wants...

Hmmmmm....

Secret Garden

Suddenly feel that we are in situation in Secret Garden.

We are just too different in life style, concepts, circles...

Diagnosis

As a medical student, I always analyze.

Yesterday I went Secret Recipe with Cindy, she told me she did the final decision to break again with her boyfriend.

We talked and shared our stories..

Midnight, we talked until 4,20am...

She heard my stories with him...

I told her all the symptoms...
And we did differentiate diagnosis...

We discussed points of support and points of oppose...

And she asked me to find the signs...
She said love need tactics..
If not, the chances will lose will times...

But I do not want to play this type of complicated games...

She said, he never be in love before, I need to make it clear for him to know...
I said, I do not reach his requirements...
And we said, he just wants to be my friend.

找个爱与你聊天的人结婚～

跟一个朋友说起找对象的事，我想起印象很深的两个人。

一个是实力派男演员王志文。在中央电视台“艺术人生”节目里，朱军问王志文：“40岁了，怎么还没结婚？”

王志文笑着说：“没找到合适的。”

“想找一个什么样的呢？”

王志文沉思片刻，说：“就想找一个随时随地能和她聊天的人。”

朱军笑了：“这还不容易？”

王志文连连摇头，认真地说：“不容易，不容易。比如你半夜里想到什么，你叫她，她就会说，几点啦？多困啊，明天再说吧。你立刻就没兴趣了。有些话，在 有些时候，对有些人，你想一想，就不想说了。找到一个你想跟她说，能跟她说的人，不容易啊。”

另一个是电视连续剧《康熙王朝》里的康熙。后宫粉黛三千，他最爱的人是容妃。他到容妃那里，最爱说的话就是：“朕想和你说说话。”然后，把一些国事家 事倾诉一番。到后来，他不得已废了容妃，每每郁闷时，总要走到容妃宫前。但是，人去宫空，贵为千古大帝，连一个说话的人也没有。

这两个“成功人士”，对爱人的要求同样简单——能够说说话而已。细细想来，也就如此：你干的事情再伟大，再轰轰烈烈，你也是一个人，一个有七情六欲的 平凡人，也希望有一个贴心贴肺、知冷知热、能深刻理解你的思想与情感的人在身边，跟你交流、沟通。这样，你就不至于孤单、寂寞。

我曾经看过这样一段话：“找一个你爱与之聊天的人结婚，当你年龄大了以后，就会发现喜欢聊天是一个人最大的优点。”当时，我还以为这是小女人情怀。现 在看来，不仅是女人，男人也有这样的要求啊。

那就找个你爱与她（他）聊天的人结婚吧。世界太大、太复杂，变化太快，拉住一个时时刻刻、随时随地能与之聊天的人的手，你就拥有了连康熙都没有的幸 福。

Heart breaking

I said I miss him, he gave me a "=.=" face...
I chatted him, but he do not want to reply me...
Not that I do not like him, not that I have no determination to like him...
But what I hope is, the guy that I like, like me too simultaneously, is not about chasing, is about liking each other without any hard effort have to do by any of us.

So, we are in different channel, we are not in same path.

I have imagine the life if we being together.
Every weekday, we will be meet in lecture hall, our PBL, CSC, clinical teaching as usual.
Lunch together like what we do now, after that hang out in library.
I read my Chinese newspaper, he read his note, he take a nap.
After class, I go back room, he will go to play badminton, gym and so on.
Me still staying in room, sleeping or online.
I will go to jogging with friends, or alone, or sometimes meet Ken.
Sure he will not accompany me to jog, cause I'm not at his level, and quite wasted his time, he can do more.
Then we will not meet until to next morning.
Maybe we will chat in facebook at night.

Weekends, we have our own gang, we will not go out together.
But if sometimes we want to date, then just go outside for a walk.

I thought this is some kind of mature love life.
We do not occupy each other life.

But when I need him, he can accompany with me.


Maybe the times of "I need him" will bother him.

Ya, he told me before, he is satisfied with his life now.
He do not need anybody else.
He is totally independent, discipline, smart enough.

Me the one who always care of his cough, his academic...

Just forget about it.
I thought he is the one.
I thought this is a mature love.
I thought we both like each other.

And actually not.
I still will smile to him.
I still will say "Good Morning" to him.

I will treat him like how I treat Ken.
I now try to pretend, and later I can treat him like how I treat Ken.
When I finally no need to pretend, I success.

最长的电影

The Longest Film
By: Jay Chou

Our beginning
was a very long film
It has been played for three years
I kept all the tickets
The world on skating rink
It still twirls in my head
I am watching you, and slowly forgetting you
The time is unreadable
how far did we skate
The circle drawn by the skating knife
circled out the one who changed
If we were to start again
would it seem a little too queer
Is love only precious when we do not speak of it?
Give me two minutes
let me freeze my mind and lock my memories
Don't melt your tears
Your make up is ruined
how shall I remember you this way
I remember you told me to forget
I remember you told me to forget
You said you cried
but it's not because you care.

Greed

Hmmmm.....
I should so this...
Too greedy...

A Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Asked him to watch, but he did not...

小故事

小狗对小猫说：“你猜猜我的口袋里有几粒糖？”

小猫说：“猜對了你給我吃嗎？”

小狗点点头说：“嗯…猜对了兩粒都给你~”

小猫噎了噎口水说：“我猜五粒！

之后，
小狗笑著把糖放到小猫手里说：“我还欠你三粒♥~"

这不是低智商的笑话，
而是因为爱你，
所以允许了你的小贪心♥~

很浪漫 ^.^

8 days

He will leave here for 8 days.
He will not here during Valentine's Day.
No hope liao >.<
Errrrmmm....
What do you expect!!!!
Moon!!!!

Do not be silly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
At least he treat me as closed friend~

Satisfaction

Thought that will not meet him today, cause he signed the attendance already..
Chatted with his friend, KJ before went to the class in afternoon.
And know something about him, and spread some wrong information to him >.<
Again, will make the one who possible like me too to left me T.T
What I told KJ?
I said I am fan of Kah Sui...
Yes, it is a fact.
But I like CKM...

Then what I knew from KJ?
That CKM does know there are girls like him.
KJ said there are chances that the girls will have.
=.=
So ego...

I want to chat him actually, but then I want to know whether he will chat me if I do not find him...
But seem that I'm the one who do not have patience...

I want to tell him about the log book thing, I want to ask him when go back and when come back, I want ask him whether he stay here during holiday to teach the CCN dance crews..

So, Lyn asked me to go earlier to the lab...
We saw him there, I said: "Yo!!"
And then I wanted to stay with him...
But Lyn wanted to go library...
Then I rejected...
Then stayed there doing nothing, again, Lyn asked to go library...
While I was with him watching his video...
And I wanted to followed her and lastly rejected...
When she wanted to go, and he said why want to go library... The lab will open soon...
So she stayed and said, "There is no space to me and your camera screen is so small and I cant see anything."
We shifted a bit to let her in...
But not much, she still felt crowded I think...
He was sitting there, I was standing behind him,  my face was above his shoulder, my breath blew to his chest... I smelled his cologne, and I think he smelled my Jasmine from my purse...
I must control my breath, I was breathless...
Did him feel the same with me???
I observed his breath...
Was that respiratory distress??
I saw usage of abdominal muscles...

He showed me the Singapore medical students performance, Japanese, Taiwan, and Hong Kong. The girls were so hot!!!
He said: "They are medical students lo!"
OK lo, I lousy la...

He kept changing the scenes, I felt weird cause I cant watch finish the video he showed...
Now I think actually he wanted to show me something...
But Lyn was there, so avoided us to look, and then....
He showed us the photo of his friends' abs >.<
And kept asking me what I think of those abs??
And said that "This 1 ok what? That 1 look like Rain mia"
I said "OK lo..."
And Lyn said why took that kind of photos??
Then he said: "Guys ma.."
Actually Lyn meant he is a guy and why fancy of another guys' abs...
I think actually he took that photos because of me >.<
And he kept back the screen, and searched for something, and showed me, only me...
"And this?" *shy* He showed me his abs >.<
The most trained abs >.<
****shy*****

He wanted me to show admiration to him???
Well, I am very good in pretending...
He kept promoting his abs ***shy***
Although he did not say that is his abs >.<
"Show off har!!" I said >.<
And later he kept the photo...

Cause the lab opened...
And once more, our time together being disturbed...
Haiz...

So we went in the lab, and he took photos...
I disturbed his hand which holding the camera.. >.<
I looked at his face, so that can compensate the next 3 or 4 weeks..
>.<
Prince Sunshine...

I kept smiling all the time, I kept thinking of his cuteness wanna to show me his abs >.<

I want to say, I do not fancy to abs, but I fancy to him...
I like him who very proud of his abs...
I like him who just wanna show only me...
I like him who smile so happily when he talks to me...

Eating Habit

He is a lazy guy.
He said he does not like to eat sisa-sisa.
So, if want to cook for him, have to make meat ball instead of minced meat...

Another thing is, I think the sauce too oily >.<
That's why he will not finish that.
So, can not cook oily food for him, peel off all the fat and skin.

And now he will go Clinical Skill Teaching with another group.
T.T So, will not meet him until exam...

Good Morning!

Cant you just say "Good Morning" to me first??
I saw you from off to on, waiting for you!!!!
Half an hour already...
Why you no chat me!!!!!
T.T

Mean that you do not like me, you do not even want to say "Hi".

Die Heart...

对象，什么叫合适？

判断男女两个人是否适合,应考虑以下10个因素

    第一、彼此都是对方的好朋友，不带任何条件，喜欢与对方在一起。 
    第二、彼此很容易沟通、互相可以很敞开地坦白任何事情，而不必担心被对方怀疑或轻视。 
    第三、两人在心灵上有共同的理念和价值观，并且对这些观念有清楚的认识与追求。 
    第四、双方都认为婚姻是一辈子的事，而且双方都坚定地愿意委身在这个长期的婚姻关系中。 
    第五、当发生冲突或争执的时候可以一起来解决，而不是等以后来发作。
    第六、相处可以彼此逗趣，常有欢笑，在生活中许多方面都会以幽默相待。  
    第七、彼此非常了解，并且接纳对方，当知道对方了解了自己的优点和缺点后，仍然确信被他所接纳。 
    第八、从最了解你、也是你最信任的对方处得到支持的肯定。 
    第九、有时会有浪漫的感情，但绝大多数的时候，你们的相处是非常满足而且是自由自在的。 
    第十、有一个非常理性和成熟的交往，并且双方都能感受到，在许多不同的层面上你们是很相配的。

   爱情是追到手的吗？
    不是。真正的感情根本不需要追的。两个人的默契，在慢慢将两颗心的距离缩短，在无意识中渐渐靠近彼此。从好朋友到情人，真正的感情是用不了多久的。从你喜欢上他的那一刻起，也许他也在那一刻喜欢上了你。同节奏的爱情往往能奏出最和谐最动听的乐章。

    真正的爱情需要什么？
    需要两个人在一起是轻松快乐的，没有压力。

     外貌和个性哪个更重要？
    男人年轻的时候往往喜欢漂亮的女子，25岁以后，会选择和自己性格合适的女子，能和自己一起过日子的人。细水长流一些，爱情会更长久。
    相爱容易相处难。相处中最重要的是宽容和妥协，在信任和了解的基础上。没有宽容和妥协，任何两个人都无法相处。
    纯纯的爱也许只有一次，但是真爱未必只有一次。时间会抚平一切伤痕。
    我们其实是可以爱上很多人的。我们不是喜欢某个人，而是喜欢某种类型的人。先来的人和我们相遇了，于是我们幸福地走到了一起；对于后到的人，只能抱以歉 意，同时，祝福他早日找到属于他自己的幸福。 没有谁是我们一生非拥有不可的，爱一个人，很多时候实际上是习惯了这个人。

    现实和浪漫哪个更重要？
    现实。没有现实为基础，浪漫就是空中楼阁。大学校园的爱情往往随着毕业而告终，大多是因为不现实，不在一个城市。 只有相互欣赏相互佩服各有所长的人，才会碰撞出最美丽的火花，也才会结出最甜美的爱情果实。

     是不是得不到的就是最好的呢?    不是的。很多人都用那句话来感叹曾经追不到手的他\她，那是因为你没有得到那样东西，所以你对这样东西充满幻想，充满期待，其实，得不到的未必就是最好 的，因此不必对没有得到的东西念念不忘，也许某天让你得到了，你会发现也不过如此。很多东西都是自己美化的，有时候得不到也是件美好的事，因为证明这不是 爱情，因此，最好与最爱，是自己说了算！具我说，最不该怀念的就是追不到的他\她，因为不懂欣赏自己啊，所以要好好珍惜真正爱自己的人，用心疼爱欣赏自己 的人，永远不要拿真心和你过日子的人与那个你追不到手的人作比较，因为那个追不到手的人，不配！

      是否门当户对不要紧，最重要应该是兴当趣对，不然没有共同语言，即使在一起，仍然会感觉到孤独。 持久的爱情源于彼此发自内心的真爱，建立在平等的基础之上。任何只顾疯狂爱人而不顾自己有否被爱，或是只顾享受被爱而不知真心爱人的人都不会有好的结局。
    如果爱上，就不要轻易放过机会。莽撞，可能使你后悔一阵子；怯懦，却可能使你一辈子后悔。没有经历过爱情的人生是不完整的，没有经历过痛苦的爱情是不深刻 的。爱情使人生丰富，痛苦使爱情升华。 
    你可能习惯于现在的恋人，明明不太喜欢，但在一起久了，习惯使人不太愿做新的选择。人生会面临无数次选择。当给你机会选择时，你一定要谨慎；一旦你做出了 选择，就永远不要后悔；拿得起，放得下，该断则断，该忘记的，就把它忘记；该珍惜的，就要把它珍惜 !

    我们总说：“我要找一个很爱很爱的人，才会谈恋爱。”但是当对方问你，怎样才算是很爱很爱的时候，你却无法回答他，因为你自己也不知道。

    没错，我们总是以为，我们会找到一个自己很爱很爱的人。可是后来，当我们猛然回首，我们才会发觉自己曾经多么天真。假如从来没有开始，你怎么知道自己会不会很爱很爱那个人呢？其实，很爱很爱的感觉，是要在一起经历了许多事情之后才会发现的。或许每个人都希望能够找到自己心目中百分之百的伴侣，但是你有没有 想过，在你身边会不会早已经有人默默对你付出很久了，只是你没有发觉而已呢？

    所以，还是仔细看看身边的人吧，他或许已经等你很久了。当你爱一个人的时候，爱到八分绝对刚刚好。所有的期待和希望都只有七八分，剩下两三分用来爱自己。 如果你还继续爱得更多，很可能会给对方沉重的压力，让彼此喘不过气来，完全丧失了爱情的乐趣。

    所以请记住，喝酒不要超过六分醉，吃饭不要超过七分饱，爱一个人不要超过八分。如果你也正在为爱迷惘，或许下面这段话可以给你一些启示：爱一个人，要了解 也要开解；要道歉也要道谢；要认错也要改错；要体贴也要体谅；是接受而不是忍受；是宽容而不是纵容；是支持而不是支配；是慰问而不是质问；是倾诉而不是控 诉；是难忘而不是遗忘；是彼此交流而不是凡事交代；是为对方默默祈求而不是向对方诸多要求。可以浪漫，但不要浪费，不要随便牵手，更不要随便放手。  

    浪漫的人这样描述与爱人的相逢：千万人当中，在时间的无涯的荒野里，没有早一步，也没有晚一步，刚巧赶上了。两个人好着的时候，你不妨就这样想吧。如果不好了，你要明白是否和某人在一起，不过是一个再简单不过的概率问题。数千个擦肩而过中，你给谁机会谁就和你有缘分，纵没有甲，也会有乙。别傻等那种想像中的木石前盟般的缘分了，生活中哪有那么多传奇。好好爱，好好珍惜吧！

Guai Bao Bao

He slept already??
Not sure, but this weekend he is going to go back Penang again...
He on for 1 and half hour...
Hmmmm... I miss him...

Stalker Moon!!

Watched him online about 10pm just now...
Promised Cindy can not find him before he takes the initiative to chat me first, for 3 days..
Sure he wont chat me...
I want him... T.T
Oh ya, already told Cindy some about our weird relationship... >.<
Miss him so much...
Will have chance to talk to him face by face only on 4th or more of March...
CFCS will not interact much >.<

So, more than 1 month T.T

I decided, I want to be the one walk with him, sit with him , talk with him >.<

Dream of Jambu

午睡时梦见了他。。。
感觉很心痛，很不舍。。。
他一样的温柔，一样的爱我。。。
为什么呢？
那种惆怅。。。
他在梦里等我回头，虽然他身后也有女生。。。
我好舍不得他。。。舍不得。。。

High Up

Today no mood to set my hair.
And went to class, not searching for him...
How hard I tried to prevent myself to look up T.T
During the lecture, heard him coughing, feeling worry...
And the lecture ended, went to toilet because and I can see him when I climbed up back to my seat.
He was playing with Ipad.
I think he want Apple products so much >.<

And I tried not to care of him...
But I do, very much >.<

I saw his face when BS said the doctor would not come for the elective talk...
He quite disappointed? Me too, wanna to see his show, hahaha!!!

Later in Tutor Room, he came in with singing: "再给我两分钟..." 
Jay???
Hmmmm??
Feel so sweet... ^.^
Then he looked at me like he want to say something, and I obviously avoided him >.<
*the face is something like I know you like me, admire me, do not deny it*
How he want to show in front public >.<
And he laughed at me pulak >.<

And I afraid to talk in PBL...
As usual, how my academic can be good T.T

And we walked to cafeteria...
He talked to me, asking me "I thought you will go for chap goh meh??"
Hohohohoho, too cute and too sweet ^.^
He went there because he want to meet me there??
He told me about the lanterns, the lamps, the girls~~
I asked him about taking the contact numbers, lau kam, he said he had no interest with the girls' face >.<
He asked me not pau kam, I said no one want my kam, wasted.
Then I asked him to write his room number on facebook status, and will have girls throw into his room, then Lyn teased him there will be a lot sampah...
And I defensed for him yet my language not so good...

And he told me secretly:"Theirs one self throw one..." >.<
Something like that?
To tease the girls, hahaha!!!!

He kept talking to me...
Saying that the others got get the girls facebook accounts, how they met the girls and how they get free lantern to make wishes...
Then he asked me where to go, I said Harmony, then he said he wanted to go to the book store, so we separated, Imran asked me to take our case reports...

Then we went to cafe, and saw him, talked to him, and he told me Lyn miss me already, asked him where am I, and, I asked him to said, I was murdered, he said me "feed rice wasted, shoot bullet wasted" T.T
What la, I am so useless meh T.T


Lyn asked him does him like Siamese food. He said: "Abo then?"
I told them when I went to Thailand, the people there talked to me in Thai language >.<
And they both not laughed at me pun >.<
Aiya, cool edi...

Lyn do not like half cooked egg, and gave me, and we wasted the egg by dropped it on dining table >.<
And CKM laughed at me with my face when I laughed so hard when Lyn asked me to help her >.<
I know it must be very ugly, but CKM also laughed together with me what =.=

 *********************

When I ate the eggs, one of that was completed covered, and I broken it accidentally.
Imran asked me to eat the whole thing, not separated them.
So I ate with an ugly posture, and then finished all 4 separated eggs..
Said: "You thought not hot arr?? I also want to eat the whole thing la!!"

And they all laughed????

********

Then he told Lyn that the person sell spaghetti said Lyn is pretty, Lyn asked why the person not gave her more if he does think she is pretty??
We both said, she should call that guy: "Abang~~~~"
And I told Lyn that I can communicate well with the kakak who cook for us.
Lyn said: "I'm not you ma.."
CKM said: "No need. No need. Dont be like her"
I get angry.. T.T I shifted my kueh teow soup away from him, and did not want to see him >.<
"There is enough already have just one Siew Mun in our PBL" said him..
I feel so sweet....
But then was him talking that he cant stand me??

"See" I said to Lyn.
"Why you always bully her??" Lyn asked.
"Because she is too cute already!" CKM said.
"See" Lyn said.
"..."
Later we discussed about her genetic..
I said she is sexy~

He said her eyes are like "sunken eyeballs" and she said they are deep sac eyes...
So he said his eyes is exactly the same as Rain Bi >.<
What he meant!!!
And then he showed me his eyes, and I'm so attracted to him >.<
And I cant say any word >.<
And do not know what to say....

Then he always used his eyes to give fierce faces to me >.<
He accompanied us so long!!!!!!!!!!

Even I felt paiseh for him to wait for us....

Take for Granted

You don't really want my heart,
No, you just like to know you can!!!

Dedicated to Drummaster...

想通了

刚刚写完了，心情突然舒畅~
我是喜欢他的吧？
我只是太在意得失心，想得到他~
如果回想从前，我只是想认识他，现在我认识他了，没有再多的了吧？
他懂我喜欢他的，不然他不会说出那种话。
我不想要那种勾心斗角的男女游戏，我只要互相喜欢，就可以在一起，不要谁喜欢谁多一点，好复杂，我不要。
我懂他有非常多选择，可是如果我非得主动出击，才可以得到的，否则他就会转头离去的，我不要也罢。

别再喜欢他了吧，好累哦。。。

煎熬

怎么今天的感觉那么的强烈？
为什么那么的低落？
因为考试吧？
因为他吧？
没用的东西。。。
别再想了，考试后，这感觉也会没的。。。

Bet

He asked to bet with him that he will study after reaching hostel, but I doubt of that.
So later he said he do not have confidence because he was tired of training.
So I sms him this morning to ask if he was studying and another SMS to wake him up from sleep.

I care of him so much that everytime I enter the lecture hall and search for him...
But he did not look for me even once, cause I never meet his sight.
Then we went to PBL, and said "Good Morning" to him, he gave me a smile or laugh which I think a bit "Paiseh" but not shy.
Then we walked together, and I think he is happy when walk with me...
And we opened the door but locked, he said: "输了咯" -.-
What la, used wrong Chinese =.=
And he looked at me when we were in discussion...
I looked at he, and feel satisfy...
Then we walked to cafe...
He said me fat again.. T.T
He chose to sit beside me...
And I chose to eat keuh teow soup again...
I know it takes time, but I really do not want to take rice...
KJ asked me why, and CKM la the reason T.T
And hmmm, how he can eat so slow until me coming back??

**************************

*from conversation with Lyn just now...*
Lyn said she chatted him yesterday, and talked for about 2minutes...
Ok, he ignored me and just chatted me back before went to bus station >.<
And this lunch time he was talking to KJ of the pau kam lao kam thingy, and said that nowadays people using facebook chat..
And girls will not chat if they do not like you.
And they were teasing me and Lyn >.<

****************************

 

Then he failed in his elective, and I pity on him...
He showed emo face and played with me...
Ok, now I'm angry and no mood to talk about him >.<

Flactuation

Exactly, please do ignore me again T.T

Overthink

He still talk to me, but then I am not sure about the go offline thing >.<
Hmmmm...
Have a safe journey~~

And then he messaged me!!
Asked the 3rd time about the timetable =.=
Hehehe, a surprised for me cause he sms me after left me alone in fb chat conversation >.<

As usual, I do not like the feeling any guy touched me... =.=
1st, in my life, the 1st guy except my dad and brothers, hold my hand was Kevin Koh =.=
2nd, during outing camp of my 1st year, the activities carried out made me feel that my whole body being touched by guys of the same group T.T
3rd, during Mooncake 1st year, Kenvyn Mah put hand on my shoulder when took photo =.=
4th, during KMM gathering of 1st year, Zhi Yuan came closer and closer to me just with a few songs that sang for seniors, I am active but not mean I am free to touch lo *angry*
5th,  Ming Han, my friends said because he is unconscious and not alert to this type of contact with girls, and just treat like girls should be sporting to let guys to touch >.<
6th, in class, there are some guys that like to go closer to any girls near by >.<
Example, Iki he make that not so obvious, he touched me a few times and I avoided him silently, and he still came near to touch me, and I avoided it all over again... again... and again...
And his face looked innocent or talking to others like nothing happen...
Stupid CKM not realized that at all and do not help pun =.=
Fizi, who obviously like to touch girls, now he got girlfriend, and not meet him for long time already.
Chinese guys Zhi Yuan... =.= luckily just same year with him for 1 year >.<
7th, YL, I seriously think he do not realize girls do not like any kind of body contact with a not so close guy. So I educated him not to simply touch me, by avoiding him obviously, and his response was so cute!!! Another times when he attempted to touch us girls, he realized and stopped doing that~~ But one time he touched my veins on my right dorsum, and CKM saw that, was CKM jealous??
8th, in lecture hall, CKM...
I tolerate with him because I like him... *I'm not only sensitive to smells, sounds and also touches*
I trust him, I believe him that he is not that kind of guy who like to touch girl.
Another touch from CKM was during meteor watching, I believe that time was just a incidentally action, that we want to focus on meteor and not to look at our hands...
Another incidence was during Borneo Night, he touched girls' fists with his fist...
However I did not let him touch mine >.<"'
Hello, not that I am not sporting, he already touched so many girls, he can simply find other girls' fists to touch to..... Bleekkkk!!! Mine one do not mean any significant....
Ok, I admit that I feel that he like me too, that's why I allow little touch from him.
Now, no more~~~
I want to reserve for my lovely boyfriend only...

But then am I really not sporting??
People just want to TAKE PHOTO, or INTERACT with me only??

In this photo, I looked soooooooooooo fat T.T

Valley

Wanna share this with you, but seem like you do not want to chat with me anymore...

Valentine's Photo???

The day

I am waiting 3 of March to come...

I will tell my feeling to him that day...

Only if he do not date other girls on this Valentine's day...
>.<
My courage will be used up this time...

Pathetically, I never have a chance, to hear from the guy I like, tell me he has the same feeling toward me, before I saying it out...
I never have a date with the guy I like, on my birthday, on Valentine's day or on his birthday...
This is the last time, I will give up to be a courageous girl, to be a elegant and arrogant woman.

I want to say "Me too", in stead of to ask "Do you feel the same?"

Can I hope that he will act before me?

Lose weight

Just went to weighed myself, before lunch...

Ya, I lose weight, to 46kg...
Maybe just because weighed before meal, so lower magnitude.

But I do not think he mind anymore...

He hide himself when I on, reappear when I off.

He scared of me.

I think this act had elicit my anger and there is stronger feeling toward him...

Cause I felt down for him before, now down + anger...

=.=

Better I unfriend him again??

But I want to wish him Happy Birthday leh...

I think I deactivate my account again is just nice...

Subtitution

Tie

He tied a golden yellow tie before, not suit him....
And then a pure black tie, hmmmm, quite ok, maybe he is strong, so the tie looked too thin for him??

Hope to see him soon..

I know there will be someone

1, 2, 3, 8, 10, 11, 16, 17, 18, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 28...

这种男人很难寻，我曾遇过一个。。。
我还有机会遇到另一个吗？

Mummy

I miss Mama..

I think my cuteness and my personalities all come from her >.<
Realized since 2 years ago, since I newly entered USMKK...
And because of Jambu..
He confirmed I inherited both my parents behaviors...

I was raised by weirdo family??? T.T

Ming Ming said I was a mistake....

AKA

Food!!!
I miss the grill!!!
Salmon is so fresh!!!
I like the sauce!!!
Can I go again??? >.<

Class Photo

Am I forgotten to post this??

I put on the table lamp and I can see it everytime I angkat kepala~~

Status

He asked me to sleep yesterday...

That is what I do everyday now... Jambu taught me...
I simply feel happy with anything....

I hope can meet that person soon...
Is a real "meeting"...



****I do not want to post things on my wall, cause people bored of me already...****

Curvy

What he meant CURVY!!!!
OMG!! He is too choicy >.<
How many years I should diet to keep that T.T
Arrgghhh....

I think his love got many conditions la....

Disappointed

Even I made move, just only in chatbox, I cant get his reply...
What can I expect if I make my confession to him??
I think there will be no reply too...

Maybe our friendship break, and the worst he avoid me and hate me...

Better do not do anything stupid, silly and confirm fail!!!!! Moon!!!

He has too many choices....

Such a stalker!!

OMG!! He online!!!

Obsessed..  =.=

Hope

Why am I still giving hope??

Hope that he will chat me first??

Why am I believing him will chat me??

The more I give hope, the more will be the disappointment, Moon!!!

Since when I become greedy???

Why am I feel so hurt??

Why started to have a feeling to cry???

***Please do not play with me, if you reluctant to give a pass for me to be greed.....

You told me where you were going, what had you done...

And now I want to know more...***

Tear

He is online now...

But I am not going to chat him again...
My first tear for him almost drop...
The term "almost" mean he is not as significant yet in my life.
Let's withdraw feeling toward him before I can simply drop my tears just because his single word or act...

I do not want my feeling toward him become so complicated and contains impurities...

I do not want jealousy, I do not want hatred, I do not want strategies...

Go offline to CKM

What would you feel, when you suspect the person that you like, and might like you back,
but he avoided you in his fb chat??
First came into my mind, he hate me.

Second, he think that I'm annoying.

Third, I'm sad...

Portraits

Friend??

He said when he want to chase a girl, he will be friend first...
I miss him...

And I wonder why nowadays he explained whatever I asked??

Hmmmm.....

Stomachache

Ate too much during holiday and eat less since came back.
So now continuing having stomach uncomfortably and diarrhea..
Sleepy, no study mood >.<

Lie

He offline from about 7pm or 8pm like that.
He went back home??
Why he lied to me yesterday??
Sometime I just cant understand...
If he really on the way home now, I'll start dislike him...

Maybe he feel that I'm too annoying to know everything about him.
If he really think that way, mean he can really just tell lie without feeling anything, and mean that I am not as important that I thought I was...

Love yourself, Moon....

Cold and clammy

I heard something from Lyn already.
I can guess that she finally admit to herself that she likes him..

I feel cold and clammy now...
This afternoon just admitted to Cindy that I like him too..
And she said she told before there will be a situation that three of us fight for him, with Joanne too...

Lyn did not tell me yet, she said if say it out, it'll become real.
She said both him and her interaction just like a flirting...
She do not want to let him feel that she is cheap.
That's why she do not want to flirt with him.

Although he promised to me that he did not feel anyone fall into him, but I feel so insecure.. T.T

Although he said I think too much...

How it will be if him and her work??
How it will be if me and him work???

She said that she scared of him.
Ya, just like what I told him.


And ya, what I think why she feel down, and that is it...

She said he did not talk much with her, but more with me and Amu...

Cindy said, maybe he found that I can talk with him, and just treat me as close friend....

I'm getting nervous...
Heart beats are raising now... T.T

Is it real or just my fantasy??

White

Hmmmmm, I like to see him when he is wearing white.
He was eating alone outside yesterday.
Sunshine falls on him, he looks so bright, cant move my eyes off of him except when his eyes looked up to my direction...

Hmmm, is this a very good sign of falling in love??

Haiz...
I'll never be the girl who people will look and feel great with...

I hope I can print out the image from my brain
T.T

Why I'm not a artist who can draw???

T.T

Food

That day he told me he did not eat bakgua for 5 years already, and just started to eat Mcd since last year.
He asked me not to stop eating Mcd, but he do not like bakgua, he likes bakgua, but he control.
I think he asked me to stop bakgua eating, hahaha~~
So the reason he asked me not to eat and not to stop eating, because he knows I'll be influenced by him ^.^
And he defined bakgua more fattening than Mcd, I think.

My friends said I'm too complicated, since I care to know in a relationship, who is the first one who fell in love.
Errrmm...
T.T
Ok lo...

Miss Him

Will be 4 days before I can see him again...
Although he did not go back...
But we are not going to meet up except for academic matter T.T

Friends talked about Jambu...
And I still can not accept the fact that I broken up because of distance, and another guy, again.
I learned not to lie, from Jambu, he taught me not to tell lie to friends.
So, I hide.
I scared of how people look at me, this time.
Maybe the most important, I scared of how Ming Ming thought of me.
Am I a person who not loyal in relationship?
Am I a unfaithful girlfriend??
Am I mature enough to involve in relationship??

I think I'm not prepared yet...
I am so scared now...

I always think that Ming Ming will not like me, this type of girl, who "dump" boyfriend for another guy.
Even myself hate this kind of girls.

I ashamed if I tell him I like him, and he ask me back, since when this happened?
When I still with my ex-boyfriend.
So?
Maybe he is not the right guy for me, and I'm not good enough for him.

And tonight, he did not want to chat with me.
My conclusion, yesterday was my fantasy, and I'm just the "spare" to chat with when he has no one to chat to, or he feel bored.

I do not want to feel this pathetic.
T.T
I want to be the one.

White

This week, from blue to black and to white.
Not talk to you at all this whole day.
But took peeks on you a few times, and during lunch time...
However, do not look to my direction la when I want to secretly look at your charming eating posture, muahahahaha!!!
You ate alone??
Not with other girls???
Good boy~~
Hehehehe~~~
If not today I will be in jealous mode...

One thing, errrmmm...
SN and HT this two little couple can quarrel within 2 minutes...
>.<
With nothing...
@.@

OMG, close distance relationship is like that one???