News

Ming sells his ticket because Joe will fetch him back.
Joe told me his family will travel to Penang~~

Stalker

He is online.
I stalked his profile.
He will go Redang with his friend in Penang this weekend.
Maybe he think of go there after I said it out during CFCS.
But he wants to go there with his friends.
Not me.

Lost

I dreamt of Jambu just now.
We were together playing around in somewhere.
But all Pangkor friends were together.
Because I did not have a partner, who fetches me, so Jambu be the one.
We met Lee, and Jambu put his hand on my shoulder, Lee misunderstood that we being together again.
And then Lee said, we are the most troublesome couple.
And do not know why, someone in my dream told me that Jambu cried, tears from his eyes.
I want to comfort him, so I went to his bedside and allow him to hug me sleeping.
Actually there was someone sleeping beside him, I think that is his girlfriend? Wife??
I will not take part in his life again.
How can I hurt him again and again?
Shyn Nie always tease me about that.
She said got a guy who loves you but you do not want, yet going to has a crush with another guy who do not know my value.

Dinner

I went Pizzaria Traudi for dinner, ordered aglio olio but the olive oil not as what I expect.
The salmon pasta in TGI's Friday is better.
They were going to celebrate Mhan's birthday.
I am unstable now...

I miss him but he looks fine without me...

SR

Clinical teaching was changing time.
After that we went to SR.
Imran refused to go, even though I begged him.
And I did not talk to Ming at all.
Both him and Amu feel bored during the tea time.
I want to talk to him.
I am scared.
I have no courage anymore.

Quiet

YY said can see that I'm not unhappy, just do not have mood.
Ming told her everything.
He told that he will go Redang with friends.
He told that he went home last weekend, just reached this morning.
He told that he will go home this weekend too.
He told that he has more packed activities in Penang.
She likes to touch him, has interactions with him.
She said she prefers Ming than Imran yesterday.
I can see through her body language, she likes to get closer with him, her body lean toward him more, compare to Amu.
If that is me, I definitely lean toward Amu...
He acted cute in PBL, to other girls.
He smiled and laughed to all other girls.
I went out of the tutor room to wait for them...
I do not want to see and to hear that he's talking to all other girls...
I talked to Imran.
KMing came out, and he was singing to Imran.
Long time did not hear him singing already.
I blanked like last time, I cant understand the lyrics.
I just heard "Babe".
I went in the cafe after him.
He put his bag.
I was thinking where to put my bag, lastly I put same site with him, but the furthest seat.
We have no more chance to talk.
Should or should not follow my feeling??
Should I start to talk to him??

I think no need.
If he wants to talk, he will find a chance.

Feel

I am listening to IF.
I was reading his comment on a pretty girl photo.
He was online before I slept yesterday.
He commented that the girls is pretty.
Today is her birthday.
I am feeling the song, I am feeling my hurt.

If

If I go, if I go closer to you
I wonder what you may think, I can’t drum up the courage

If you go, if you go away from me
It is scary to figure out how to let you go

Perhaps, the reason I only look at you, like a fool,
is for fear that you may turn your face away, and
you and I may drift further apart

Perhaps, the reason I can’t say ‘I love you’, like a fool,
is that I am afraid of the painful sad days of waiting after we meet.

If you come, if you come closer to me
I really don’t know what to do

Perhaps, the reason I only look at you, like a fool,
is for fear that you may turn your face away, and
you and I may drift further apart

Perhaps, the reason I can’t say ‘I love you’, like a fool,
is that I am afraid of the painful sad days of waiting after we meet.

Perhaps, the reason I can’t say ‘I love you’, like a fool,
is that I am afraid of the painful sad days of waiting after we meet.

This is a song that shows a girl who love a guy, but hide her real feeling, actually she still has hope on it...

If, by Taeyeong.

Put Down

I think he must be happy to live without me...
I saw him looked to Amu by meaning to tease Lyn...
Ya, they are friends.
I'm not.
Why I should care so much???
I think I have no feeling to him anymore...

Fail

I tried to seduce Amu to plan of the trip...
Still have no response...
And I hope to go islands with him!!!!

By the way, went lecture hall late today, so sat one row above him, saw him sleeping in the class~~
And during PBL, did not look at him I think.
We are strangers now...

So, after PBL, he started to wait for us to have lunch together already.
He walked with us.
And do not know why today both Amu and Lyn bullied me on the way to cafe...
We sat together, he was diagonal from me.
His straightened hair being cut already I guess, haha!!
And he asked YY to sit in front him, haha~~
I saw Lyn played with him, and I have no right to be angry.
She intended to block his way.

We did not talk, we pretended that we were fine.

Lyn talked to him, asked him about the new hostel, asked him to transfer merits to her.

I feel, I am tired of this already...
Now, I am still care...
And I am hurt...

I started to feel, I do not want to care already, it's bored...
It's bored if I need to control myself,
I cant be jealous, I cant go closer to him, I cant look at him, I cant smile to him, I cant call his name...
 It's hurt if I let myself to fall more...

Guess?

Suddenly, think of something.
Heard that he will go Redang in June, for whole week...
Further asking is like do not know who he will go with, maybe with his hometown friends?
Is it he planned to go Redang with us???

Is that so???

Is that he said one of a week in June, he will go Redang with friends??

>.<
Is that so????

No more passion

My passion to continue to write about him lesser...
Cause nothing happen between me and Ming...
I regret to read novel until late night.
And I went to class with sleepy mode.
When I went to FLM just felt better.
After lunch, I went back room to have a nap.
We had clinical teaching at 230pm, while initially 215pm and delayed because some of us were late.
I kept looking at him while he did not notice~~
Nice, means he will not catch if I am looking at him or not~~
Mean after this I no need scare to look at him, cause our sight will not meet...
He will not look at me already!!! T.T
Then I went jogging this evening.
Imran ran with Lyn.
Went guesthouse for dinner.
Amu asked me out at night.
I knew I will met him.
And on the way back here, we saw him.
With juniors.
Quite a lot of girls...
That I cant recognize...
His friends is so wide in range...
And I can see the cute KM when he is with them...
He swings his legs on his ride on bicycle...
That I did when I cycling also, use the momentum to make the bicycle move forward...
I shouted his name...
He did not hear that...
He was with his friends...
Me and Amu decided to follow them...
And ya, I am sad.
The rumor of he is finding a girlfriend.
He is searching for a girl who suitable for him...
I feel pain, I cant control my brain to stop thinking of that...

I think, when he really gets a girlfriend, then I will give up...

520

This is 8 years before my wedding???
Hahahaa, maybe I have to attend to his wedding first, lol~~

Stupiak

I think of him...
Analyze my feeling...
I thought he was a shy boy.
But actually he is not.
I thought he was not the kind of guy who will find girls and chats.
But actually he is.
He told me before he was contented with his life now, to being single.
Now I heard that he wants a girlfriend.
WC told me that if there is a rumors, sure is from himself.
He is intended to tell the whole world that he is finding a girl who worth to be his girlfriend.
When I first know him, he was not the kind of guy who like to show off.
Now he is...
I am confused.
Am I really like him???
Love him???

How can I fall for him before knowing him??

On the way

He is now on the way to Penang...
This no point that I on my facebook...

Real life

Hmmm, experienced a real life situation.
When I went to distribute whatever food, which is free, everyone will take it.
When I started to feel I cant afford to pay those food, I just handle the food and they have to pay for it, no one take it.

Quite a sad person of me, even I never hope for reply, but just hard to accept the fact.

Still got a few friends will take it, that they think I buy too much and they help me to finish it.
They are not thinking that I do that just because of them.

Without money, who will be your friend??

Day-dream--> Dream

I thought he already on the way to Penang for TOT.
But I saw him online now~~~

I just remembered my dream this morning.
We all went to Malacca for trip.
He was with us.
We stayed in hotel, and I felt the mattress is so comfortable.
We were not in the same room, somehow I had same room with another guys and friends.
I jumped and jumped playing on the mattress, it is too fun!!
Then we were going for lunch.
We all departed from my room, and I forgot this and forgot that, just started to prepare.
So I asked them to go first.
And when me and another friend, same late as me, I think is GX, went down, and we realized we forgot to take another thing.
We were on the way back to room, and Ming returned to find us.
Then we went to have lunch, and I suggested to eat satay celup, and then we also had millecrepes cake, hahaha!!!

Another dream that I have a trip with him >.<
By the way, he told me before that he does not like to travel.

Paparazzi

Is him such famous??
Really???
I heard that he will go Redang for 1 week with his friends.
That how come his news is like announcement even he never post it in facebook???

Why I have a thought that he will have a girlfriend soon?

Is it his kidney problems solved and he has no more worry??

I hope for his happiness.

Back to Usual

Before I started to chat with Ming, I put my view size as large as possible, cause I read novel always.
Starting chatting with him, I just realized that I can see online status of him by diminishing the fonts size of my view size.
With the chat list appear always at the right side of the screen.
With his name be the first name on the list.
With my eyes looking to the first name on list always.
Everytime when I saw notification, I can know he was the one sent the message.
Cause I chatted only with him.
And he the only one find me to chat.
*Applicable only the first 3 times of conversation*

Now I made the list disappeared from my sight already.
Slowly, I will delete his name from my closed friends list...
And lastly, I hope I can unfriend him...
Without asking him to friend me again...
That even I regret...
Even I love him...

Fall-ing

On the way to FLM, heard that LC said that Ming recently has a thought to have girlfriend.
That's why he now mingles with the dental girls...
LC said WC has boyfriend, left Carmen, SY and Jo, most properly Jo.
Ya, right...

Since the Convex trip...
Took him so long to consider while the girl already fell for him for so long...

So met WC in FLM, asked her what time sleep yesterday.
She said they played until 3am.
Then why I saw him online at 1am++??

In FLM , I heard people said about thromboxane, they were discussing, and I think of him, that he never discuss about academic with us...
And I thought of my pronounce during early of this academic year, that everyone laughed at me...
T.T
So I wanted to make it get out of my mind, I closed my eyes and shaked my head...
When I opened my eyes and looked up, his blue shirt image appeared in front of me...

When I think that he wants a girlfriend, I experience shortness of breath...
T.T

Cook stories

 Lala, quite oily~~

 Tempura Prawn

 Finished eating~

 Purple sweet potato Tangyuan

 Peanut Porridge

 Chicken Herbal Soup

The vege~

 Red Bean Tang Yuan

 Egg Cheese Sandwich

 Herbal Egg

 Mango Sagu

Melon Sagu







Learn and cook, for my future one...

What to do?

He came back from the games already.
Jealousy??
Heartache???

I cant help to think about him...

Heartache

I saw him in lecture hall today, wearing purple, same with Jo.
Then I saw him took off his purple shirt and showed his black inner shirt when the lecture finished.
What's his problem?? *Imitating Lyn*
During lunch, I can easily see him from my seat, but I pretended to look away when I met his sight.

Now, he is playing with the dental girls.
Heartache....

Show Off

Lyn came, and in this so early in the morning, I already heard his name.
She said during clinical teaching yesterday, when we were palpating the baby, they were standing together.
Ming showed off to Iki that he had borders for the palpation, and asked YL to touch too.
Then they all agreed with Ming, Lyn was beside them and heard their conversation.
She thought he was talking about he got hepatosplenomegaly...
Then just realized he was showing off.
Well, I think I was busy palpating the baby and I already learnt to filter their conversation.

And he is so vain...

From last time, during Wushu Intervasiti, I asked Mhan that is that Ming always show off of his body, but he showed a disagree face.
Ming really changed to another person.

Mean

Ming=Mean???

I woke up late, I think my PMS came earlier...
A feeling of tired for the whole morning...
I smelled Lyn's perfume at corridor with leaked from her room...
I slept in the class, played with friends.
He was sitting 2 or 3 row above us, above dental gang again.
Lyn went to toilet and I waited for her, while he was slowly walking down, no wonder everytime after lecture, he was always late to the tutor room.
I am now not afraid to look at him and discuss about academic thingy.
I had a minor fight with him regarding to some learning issue, that I do not agree with his point or something.
I think he not satisfies with me.
So later when I explained, I saw they laughed and I did not know why.
I continued with my reading.
And he asked me about the meaning of word, that he looks down me.
I heard this story from Lyn during our dinner.
After PBL, we went to cafe together, I talked to Imran.
I like the feeling that I am walking with someone, and I talk with him, and I have to look so high up, and feel romantic of it.
I know he was watching, that I can feel some jealousy at that point, but I was still doing it.
Cause maybe it is just my fantasy.
I wanted to show that I can live very well without him.
I do not just put my attention to him.
He is not my priority anymore.
I can mingle with anyone else.
He sat far from me, and hided from my sight.
I was telling Amu about my recent life story, that I wanna go home and something.
At that point, I felt Ming was listening.
My fantasy again.
Amu invited me to go her home, with real Indian curry, with free accommodation, free guide and Icecity visiting.
6 days of vacation, I should take the offer, but my ethic report not yet done T.T
And actually I played too much recently, I start to feel guilt...
I saw Ming used a water bottle, first time I see that, and he return to the normal him.
He winked to Amu. He did his sexy eyes expression.
And he did not go away straight after he finished eating.
I was not talking to him...
Later he leaved. Amu accompanied her friend.

We trio went to library.
We played the test with Imran in the library, Lyn and him share some characteristic.
When we went to the wad, I saw him and I did not want to see him.
I did not go near to him, but Lyn did~~~
Actually, I always try to get his attention...
But pretended do not want his attention...
Cause I feel inferior with my appearance.
When we tried to examine the kid, he showed his cute face to the kid.
Tried not to scare the kid.
His face quite stupid, hahahaha, but warm.
Then we went to check another girl.
She is 15 year old and can see she is having stunted growth and short stature.
After the doctor gone, we started to chat during examination.
Sometimes I stood near by him, and it is normal.
He started to feel comfortable with my presence.
While I immune to him after the exposure last 2 weeks.
We stopped chatting in FB, stopped talking to each other, for 1 and half month, he finally put down his defense.
Imran saw my white hair, while immediately Ming told about I have hair loss and he pointed it out, why did he so mean to me???
I ignored him once again.
And when we went out of the wad.
We wanted to take lift.
I rushed into the lift and when I turned, I realized he was after me.
That he acted so fast to get the lift.
We waited for Lyn.
When Lyn came in, she looked at people outside and started to press close button, vigorously.
We all asked her to wait, and she insisted to close it, hahahahaa!!!
Guess what??
YL and MY were there and she was playing them.
I saw Ming's smile.
I think he feels the pairing thingy is funny.

I did my ethic report until Cindy asked me for dinner.
We chatted there and finally I asked it out about incident this morning.
She told me after I asked her about the pronunciation,  Ming asked her that am I knowing the meaning of "thawed".
That's why they laughed, and I wondered if I did anything wrong at that point cause I explained my part straight after Lyn finished her explanation.
I actually have a thought that they were laughing at me but I decided to not to care.
Maybe that's my fantasy again and they may just having fun together.
Then Lyn asked him to ask me himself.
That's why he asked me after my explanation.
And even after I told my answer*with an unsure face*, he told Lyn that, there are a lot ways of thawing, not only what I answered.
What's his problem now???

He is so mean to me???

And I continued my report after dinner, until late night.
I hate assignment, seriously.

I succeed control my heart not to fall.

Sad

Yesterday I had a dream, me and Ming Wei went to an island which I feel maybe Krabi or Koh Samui or Maldives.
I nearly being kidnapped and I was struggling to swim away from them...
So tired and so scary T.T

And then at night, I went to SNie room.
And we both and Lfen cried together when we explained the misunderstanding of our friendship.

Then I fell down on the way I went back room, my knee knocked the angle of the stair T.T

Morning, I immersed the peanut and glutinous rice.
Then I went to class.
Saw that Jo sat beside Ming and Joe, while Lyn walked to them, but she went down when she noticed the seat was too far from the screen.

Actually Jo booked seats for us, but I rather to sit with the air conditioner blew straight to my face but I do not want to sit around him.

Finally Lyn walked back to the seat up there.

Then we proceeded to tutor room...
During PBL, I saw Lyn and Ming looked to each other and smile.
My heart pain.
When the PBL ended, I had to stay to discuss about ethics.
She was standing near the door and I can feel she was impatient.
What I think is, Ming went away already.
She wanted to go with them but I was still not done.

And so I asked her to go first.

When I reached the cafe, I do not want to wait.
I went in the cafe, I chose cafe catering.
But, I did not put my bag on the seat.
It is fate if anyone sit on it or take it away.
When I done taking my food, the chair gone.
Good, I will sit with others then.

My plan succeed.

Lyn, Ming and Imran sat there with harmony, without me.
Ming did not went away straight after he finished his meal.
He stayed there chatting.

Finally I should tell myself that he always stay after meal for her, not me.

I cooked the dessert, it is nice.

SN blamed me to follow to the trip.
I feel hard and difficult, but I will not chance my mind.
And I should be patient with her attitude.

What should I do for her??
She wants to call him.
She is immature.
She is my friend...

His name not in my top list anymore...
Sometimes appear, sometimes not...

Happy!!!

What made me feel so happy today!!!!
I finally got chance to go to Bangkok trip with Sifu!!!
My hope came true that I want the date changes to the date I finished my Hong Kong trip ^.^
Hehehehehehee!!!!

Then these 3 days since I had my eyelid twitch.
I met Ming twice, then I met Yik.
Then Yik can recognize me.
And I dreamt of Yik.

The total different type of guys.
One not shy when met, one shy when met, with my friends.
One shy or feel weird when I told him about our relationship, one totally can accept how flirty I am.

But still, Ming...
I miss Ming...

Excited

Because of the photo and because of the dream this morning, I became obsessed with Ah Yik.
I saw him in Prima, and he can not recognize me.
Then I messaged him, and he does not realize he met me this afternoon >.<
Tonight I went to Wushu Senior Farewell and saw him again.
I hinted him that I was there, and he came in, maybe searching for me, but he not put much affords on it.
Lastly he waved to me twice and showed his victory face.
He smiled to me, and me smiled to him too...
And I like guys with pink shirt ^.^

Comment

I viewed his photo, realized that he actually was with them having a drink that night.
That I misunderstood if he online means he is at home.
I read the comments in his photos.

People said that the photo is gay-ish...
People said girls will start line up for him.
And he said the line is for girls only.
People asked what happened to him and he answered nothing happened.
People asked him who he wanted to show off to.
People amused by the photo *me too, muahahahahahaa*
People said he not yet meet a worthy girl to be his girlfriend.
People said he definitely wanted to attract guy.. *Muahahahahahaha*

Actually why his friends there no one teach him to pose properly??
Muahahahahaha!!!

Lack of love?

Yesterday heard SN said she broke up.
And went to her room and chatting till 3am.

This morning I had a dream.
For the first time I dreamt of the junior.
I met him somewhere.
And he puts my head on his chest, comforts me...
Ignoring my rejection...

Hahaha, I have this thought that he is this style of guy, that actually I like that kind of guy who will do sweet actions even the girl refused to do so...

My friends asked me why I like to read love novel, they asked me whether I lack of love too much??
Hmmm, from what I learn from sifu, love can be come from oneself...

Top listed

Even the FB chatlist already put him under according his initiate of his name...
No longer the person who chat with me always...
No longer the first name in my list...
I hate him...
That I need to type a "c" to look at him online status...

*How come his name raised to my top list again???*

And there is holiday on 20 May!!!
I should not go back last week, so that I did not miss the time with sifu...

87days

Today is 87 days after my confession.
From close friends --> stranger --> friends.
I think approaching 100days, we will be fine.

Eyelid

We went to the Chinese quiz, and my left eyelid started to twitch.
I feel irritated, =.=
The quiz was difficult T.T, we took turns to translate to Lyn.
We went to buy notes after that, and I saw someone cycling, I thought he was KS.
He is Ming, I already waved to him without realized that he was not KS.
I looked at him, and saw that he was in good mood.
He smiled, and so I just pretended nothing, and to prevent that he will think too much *actually I think too much, I scared that he will feel uncomfortable with my hyperactive action to him, he will thought that I still not give up, and I scared my plan to hide my feeling toward him from the whole world will fail*.
So I said :"I thought you are KS."
Since he was in good mood, he replied that :"KS?"

Hmmm, he was in good mood, wondering...

We waited for notes, and when we were really to go, he came to buy notes.
Followed by Ah Yik, and I said: "Yo" to the junior.
He can not recognize me, very sad T.T
Mean I am not pretty la, he totally forgets all about me already.
Yerrrr, again I need to face this real world that people like pretty girls~
I forgot to take the container back from the junior.
But I do not want have any contact with the junior anymore.
AHHHH!!! REALISTIC!!!!!

Body

Saw his photo of posing nicely showing his shape.
To attract the girls?
But I straight away skipped that kind of photos.
I like the him during last year Gunong Stong trip.
I like guys show their sexy accidentally, I do not like his intended show off.
Somemore he showed to other girls.
Whatever...

Travelling

I watched their photo of Penang trip, and I had a dream just now.
That we too drive and travel.
And we went to the same shopping mall for a few days, made me upset.
And then we went to someone house.
And we cooked.
Actually I did not cook.
And I did some rude actions like curi makan and all that.
And I saw Ming hardworking helping people to cook, like he is a pro helper.
And I saw him talking to my hometown friend, that I again have bad thought that they might "have road" =.=
Ok, and this dream is not real.
How we will have chance to travel together?
Nah...

Appreciation Dinner

I saw Ah Yik tonight, he can not recognize me.
And I kept watching what is Ming doing...
I not dare to look into his eyes.
If he is not looking at me, then he would not know that I took peeks on him right??
But why I always feel that he was avoiding to let me caught his sight to me???
That's why me too, too afraid to know the truth, did not really find for an answer.
What can I do if he really looked at me?
And I definitely feel sad if I misunderstood again if he actually did not care of me...
I observed that he went to toilet quite often, why?
And I met him outside the male toilet, he opened the door but his head turned to the back, he did not see me, and I quickly ran away.

Saw him happily played with his gang...
Ya, we are so different.
That I am not his kind of fun and pretty girl who can play with.

I sang a song that I heard for once or twice before, so, came out broken, hahaha!!
And before I went back, I socialize with Meaw, and played the ET fingers touch.
And I looked into the restaurant, he was also looking outside.
Did he caught that I was looking for him?
Then who he was looking for???

A junior said she can not see any tension from my way of life, Hahahaha, she is not the first said like that.
Maybe the sting is too tense and a little bit more exertion, it will break.

Headache

Not enough sleep these 2 days.
I reached in front USM about 5.20am, met a nice driver.
Then thought that can sleep till 9am but YL told that we will have clinical, lastly cancelled and I wasted my sleeping time.
I wanted to sleep on the couch, but Ming took action first and Lyn decided not to disturb him, so we went to library.
Anyway, we had a nice chat there although the air-conditioner not yet fully functioning that time.
And Lyn told me Ming had avoided her since long time ago, moved the chair apart from her during PBL, and not shared the papers with her, and laughed looking to Amu instead of her.
In PBL, he laughed and looked into my eyes once... Just co-incident..
I think I should not count like this, more I care, more I can not let him go...
And actually he is quite a gentleman to avoid girls to fall for him, he made it clear.
After lunch, we went to the living room, and I slept on the couch, that he slept before and I can smell his remaining scent *mean he put too much >.<*
I studied where he put his legs cause I do not want to smell his foot scents >.<
Later when clinical teaching, he stood far away from me.
Iki stood behind me, and when his voice penetrated my eardrums, I did not have the same feeling as Ming gave me...
And when we checked for enlarged lymph nodes, Lyn said they are the same as what I have.
So I said, mine are firm, mobile, rubbery, malignancy and I have 2 more years life.
So Ming replied, stunted growth, short stature...
And I said "Enough." then ignored him...
What his problem to suddenly tease on my height?? =.=

Today I did not care of him much, just searched for his in lecture hall, and tried to not look at him in PBL, although pretended to not to care, but I still searched for him if was he following us to cafe...
And when Lyn asked to sit outside, I said hot sitting outside, but I still followed PLM-mate had lunch together.
When Lyn said she invited Ming to sit with us, he told the same thing as me...

Seem like we have same thoughts and opinions but we are still so different.

We can be best friends if the incidence during eve Valentine did not happen.

Weird

Feel weird after drank half cup of milk tea, my stomach and systems reject caffeine??

I can not drink coffee too..
Stomach distension...

Saturday Night

I saw him online.
I do not think that he is so nerdy that will bring laptop and his broadband out.
But I am quite surprised if he did not follow his friends to have some drinks.
Even he is not alcoholic.
Just, I thought he would be happy to see Jo, or SY, or WC everyday, enjoyed how they behave.
I do enjoy watching his behaviors...
So, maybe he is tired guiding around and have a rest at home earlier??
Well, tomorrow have to walk back to campus alone from campus...
Reluctant...
Can I have a companion please??
T.T

Stalker

He is online just now, off again after a few minutes...
YHan said he wants to slap him until his own hands tired, have no face to jaga anymore...

Feel better with my friend support me, hahaha...
Ah Hiao did not support me, cause he is one of the people inside campus.

Deep Breath

Everytime I think of he is accompanying his friends to shop, to eat, to play, to movie, to ktv, I feel suffer...
I need take a lot of deep breathes..
I am suffering...
Cause I think of him, I cant breath..

Offline

Again, when I online I saw him, after a few minutes, he off...
My heart is so suffer..

没有你，怎么办？
像我现在无法入眠，
多想要跟你聊聊天。。。
没有你，怎么办？
像我现在无法入眠，
只想要你在我身边。。。

What can I do, without you?
I can just insomnia...
I hope to chat with you....
I just want you to stay with me...

Supper

Come back from supper with aunt, uncle and mum...
Saw Ming online already..
Sent them back to hotel already??
T.T
Can I please do not care and mind others business??

Trip

I thought they are going to Penang by themselves.
And why did the fate lets me know that you are going to lead them in Penang??
Why Joe took bus from the bengkel but not KB?
You will have interactions with Jo, a lot..
I know you will not easily attracted by girls, but she is your type, right?
This is so risky from my view...
Who knows, you will fall for her today? Tomorrow?? The Day after tomorrow?? Or Sunday??
Why I have to worry about this??
Why I have to know??

And not only Jo, SY too, WC too...
Joe too got Ribena and EJ, muahahaha!!!

Someone like me

I saw him online...
And actually he is the reason I am on facebook now...
To see when he is free to open facebook...

Stalker

I was looking at is online status.
Sometimes on and sometimes off.
He must be playing games.
I miss him anyways, waiting for him online.
Good Night.

Coward

I am scared when I watched Vampire's Diaries >.<
OMG!!!
My friends sure laugh at me if they know this...
My roommates already laughed at me T.T
Hope there will be a person that accompany me to watch this kind of exciting dramas @.@
Since young I am chicken-livered and I always hold my dad's hand, feel safe~~ ^.^

Talkative

One criteria of my future boyfriend-husband-to-be is that he is able to talk to my daddy and brothers.
That he will not stop trying to mix with my family, especially to be patient to my mum, hahahahaa!!!
When I see HT treats SN's dad, and when I asked CK, he told that he will always visit his girlfriend's family, even she is not home ^.^
Hmmm, this is so different with my family.
My parents do not not force my sister-in-law-to-be to obey them, or chat with them.
But I think my parents actually shy and will be happy if the companion of their sons and daughter treats them nicer than their own children, hahahahaa!!!
Hope for a guy who is talkative to my parents~~ ^.^

Out of control

I went out tonight, I told SN about incidences today.
And I started to overthink...
I needed a lot of expiration to get rid him from my mind.
Just now talked with WC, and maybe when I say it out, it become more real...
I nearly loss my control of my heart.
When WC told me to let my brain empty at the end of conversation, I feel my rational came back already.
When I read back my blog, what I wrote, I become totally calm, and I know what should I do.
I just need him to be my friend,
I can not afford to lose him, I am trying to get back him, who cares of me, no matter what is our relationship.
I know my objective already, whatever that makes him stays away from me, I will not do that.
Cause I already know, what I really want.
His love, is very wide, he is very kind, I can get his love just be his friend.
He is willingly to give me his love, if we are staying as just friends.
He is generous to give love to his friends.
He can give me more when we are just staying friends, and he can not provide that as a lover, so, why I asked for less when there is something more??

And I am very calm now~