Dreaming

I had a dream, that me and friends went to a Taiwanese Buffet.
Most buffets now are Japanese style but because it was Taiwanese style so it is special.

I was the first customer in the morning, starting to queue.
And I took 2 plates of food, there was BBQ seafood, BBQ meat, nice food.
I saw Yliong in my dream too.
Then one junior in this school I do not know who, he saw me taking 2 plates of food, and he embarrassed me.

So I wanted to put my food somewhere, and I do not know how, I rushed back to my house and put down my food, and it was a quite far journey.

Then I went back to the buffet place again via running.
I think I was exhausting running so hard to reach back the place.
And the crowd more and more, and I have to queue so long.

While people took for a lot of food already, and I haven't eat anything.
But I wanted to avoid the queue.
So I went to play the dessert part.
There was a machine like the Disney coin machine.
But it was a waffle machine.
There was Doraemon and other cartoons pattern of waffle.
Put coin and you can make it freshly by yourself.

So after playing this, I went for queuing for my second round.
I got prawn, lobster?, mussels, big clams, so so nice.
And I went back to my seat.
My friends sat with me.
But I just remembered Lyn now.
On the way back to my seat, I saw people with huge plate of nice sashimi, I went back to take it, but I do not know how, maybe they are out of stock already, they gave me assorted sushi.
And I took back to my seat.
While eating my BBQ, Lyn came and asked me that she wanted to try my sushi, and she was so so eager to have my nice 9 pieces of sushi plate.
She ate my salmon sushi, and later I just give her my whole plate of sushi, because I think I can queue again to get it.
And after I finished my food beside the sushi platter, I went to queue, all the counters finished distributing the food, and left me all closed counter.

And I felt this is so unfair that I was the first to come and I did not get to eat what I want.
And I think I was so so so so sad in my dream.

I told Lyn about she stole my food just now, and she said she never do that to me before.
And she think she is great cause she finished all the food.

And I feel like, am I really so pathetic that I just can have this type of friend?
Yea, I know Western culture is taking your own food, people will get theirs by themselves.
So, I never blame anyone for not taking food for me while I was so kaypo and thinking how to get more food to share with my friends.
Yea, so when people asked food from me I never reject and just share my part.
I am selfish too, I wanted to reserve it for myself too, but I rather to give it away, looked to another direction, do not see means do not feel.
I never ask food from her, cause I know she definitely need food for herself, and she will ask, why you do not want to take from the place with a lot of it, but to take for her, the one she wants for herself only.


I have bad thought on my friends.

That made me feel my darkness, instead of they can give me a sense of brightness, that makes me feel happy, or fortune.
I need to give or sacrifice, so that I can feel happy, when other happy, while I never receive to be happy.

Or maybe when I received, I never cherish it??

The dream and my friends must have something to teach me.
I knew everyone is selfish, but I do not want to be someone who is selfish.
I knew recently I had become greedy and craving for more and more food, demands to enjoy luxurious lifestyle.

I forgot that I wanted a life with no demand, no request, with high pride, with no struggle.
Peace~~