Explanation

I slept at 4am or 5am last night.
I cant properly sleep.
This is the first and will be the last time, I feel so bad because of him.
If I have to set the pain score, I will make this as 10, and I will restrict myself, to not let my heart to experience pain more than this level, no way for me to feel so sad for him.

So I met Cindy in front her room, asking her about her dinner.
Then she said Lyn always pushed his arm, and he is the only guy we seen so far that she will touch.
And Cindy told me Lyn put plane on Wendy's KFC date to go to his date.
While Cindy told me she did not sit close with both of them, later Lyn told me the different, they just sat in front her.

So I talked nonsense to cover my sadness.
And after I heard from Cindy, I knew that they went to drink, and it is not my type.

I asked her about how he dated her, and she said he messaged her.
And it was her first Christmas with guys, and especially him.
Then she said they were talked less and I suggested that just like in PBL.

I met him and YL at the corner of the tutor rooms.
I do not feel like looking at him.
He showed his face to Lyn, and I heard he told Lyn that CY asked to bring the girls out.
He smiled and everything, and I did not turn my head to see him.

I did not pay attention in the class too, maybe Lyn noticed about my abnormalities.
1pm, I supposed there would be no food in Nurani, so I asked Lyn for lunch, and asked Imran to go Harmony together.
Maybe he was in his good mood, he followed us.

I was angry with him anyways, I did not feel like talk to him much.
I walked with Amu, chit chatting.
I knew I unintentionally slowed down my steps.
And we were teasing both of them.

I do not care of him anymore, I feel free to do anything, I no need to restrict my actions and speech.
He sat beside Lyn, diagonal from me.

It is a setting that he will always will Lyn.

I talked and I did not care of my mouth full of food.
When YY asked me whether me and Imran are husband and wife, I said, no ring then not yet.
Lyn asked me to fold it with paper, and I said even with straw also ok, or even with the ring pull of the can.

When YY helped Imran to ask whether we want to play badminton, we rejected.
And when Lyn asked why dont Imran ask by himself but asked YY to ask us.
I answered her, because he scared I would reject him so he did not dare to ask.
And when I said that, that fella said out some bad words and I was shocked but became steady again in 1 second.

I did not feel like looking at him at all, so I put my head down and just focused on my food.
Lastly, when I talked about the winter and the layer of cloth I will wear and I will be rounded and people can pull me down hill and I will be snow ball.

So I saw he was looking to far, daydreaming with his stupid smile.
Do not know what he was thinking while I thought he was imagining something.

And about 6pm, he chatted me, and until 12 am, discontinued in for 2 hours since he went out.
He felt bored and asked me for stories.
Later I figured out the Murni had no wifi connection, so he found me for entertainment.

And finally when there was a connection, he abandoned me and just leaved me there.
His style, and I did not feel anything.

I knew, he used me.