晕眩

我今早见到他了，在我踏出宿舍的时候。
我在跟爸爸讲电话，看见他的背影，突然地就眼睛模糊，脑子晕了一下。
随后没事，他好像有感应的转过头来，我对他笑了笑。
我们没有走在一起，我就像以前那样远远地跟在他后面，追的好辛苦，他腿长啊。。。
嗅着他的古龙水，香气往后飘呀飘，身穿黑色的恤衣，自己偷偷的在笑。
我已经不是以前的那个我。
我就知道还没毕业他就会忘了我。

慌

我不喜欢这种很慌的感觉，为什么考试不及格就要留级？
为什么考试那么恐怖？

考试

为什么每次考试都那么紧张？
已经维持了好久，就为了这两天。
跟轻轻松松的感觉完全相反。

幸好有了同修，有了一个宁静身心的方法。。。
不然我又要发疯了。。。
这只是一个考试。
比起生死轮回，算什么？

Stranger

You are right that you did not find me.
Lol~

I pretend as we never know each other before.

I miss you, but when I see you, you are with her.

I see you, I think of you both, heart-aching.

I rather not to see you at all.

Heartache....

Still

I am still thinking of him, I miss him.
谁会让你偶尔想要拥他在怀中。。

I just want someone to hold when I am in need.
And I gave up to find the someone.

I suffered him so much in previous life that I need to suffer from this so much this life?

Enough, I am so tired of these things already.
Can I please just forget about these nonsense?

Met for lunch

I was going for lunch with posting-mate, and I dis not know he was behind.
When I noticed, he was smiling to me, like he was excited to see me.
He just acted like normal, like he misses me a lot.
Although we were not talking, he was responding to my words, like always.
He leaved us when sitting and he came back, and there was no more seat for him.
My legs were shaking because it was the first time I was so near to him, talk to him and see him.
I will overcome it soon.

Remember

I just remember why I like him from the start.
It was just because I need a hug when I need comfort and he was the guy who was nearest to me.


I have this feeling today. I feel that I am lost in my academic and I need a hug to comfort me.
I felt I am drowning and I need someone to hold me up.

That's why I had that dream that night...

亲爱的他

昨天勤劳的去医院一天后，Cindy突然邀我去运动，当然就一口答应。
要到达是遇见Semi,跟他聊了一下，他又吸烟了 >.<
真心希望他戒掉，况且他还有哮喘呢！

体力不及他们，一个人走去户外健身，突然有感觉，转头一看，是他。
他在小型足球场内正在热身，隔着篱笆，在我后面走着。
我当做见不到他，也不确定是不是他。
虽然，我在经过体育场时就傻傻的期待他的出现。
直觉他会出来运动，为过几天的训练做准备。
他一直绕着小足球场热身训练，我则尽量避免自己看见他。
幸好有了三宝，我再也没有做出超过的事来引他注意。
可是，我还是喜欢他吗？
为什么我会不由自主的望向他两次呢？
为什么到会去的时候，我还回头望？
看见他在远处慢跑着跟着我们回宿舍去。
他是故意离我们好有一段距离的吗？

他知道吧？
我远离他了。
一个月半来，看了他一次的背影，和这次见到他运动，都没打过招呼。
伤害太深，所以连诉苦的力气都没有。
因为太刺进我的心了。
连心痛都灭了，因为心死了。
看着他，只剩下满满的遗憾，连朋友都不是了。
是我选择的，是我不再将热脸贴在冷屁股上。
一路来都是这样，他并不会觉得怎样。

已经没有心情去面对这样的人，他并不是我想要的那种人。
怎么做，都只是无谓。

再见了，亲爱的。

睡前与梦

昨天有话题聊到恋情，钟光明，加上睡前又跟番石榴辩论了一通，还有看见别人的状态有酒类，所以发了一个跟这些有关系的梦。

话说，不懂我怎么去一个酒吧，不是我想去玩的那种，遇了一个和我不是很对头的男人，说话不对盘。他也是其中管理酒吧的人，是黑道人士。然后不知怎的，我很无助，徘徊在那酒吧附近，他不懂怎么收到消息，在外头见到远处的我，走近，我看见他温柔的眼光，奋不顾身扑了上去，他没有反抗，任由我环住他的颈项，寻求安全感。他瘦瘦高高，跟钟光明差不多，也是远看很帅，近看还好，可是当然梦里的他是比钟光明好看的多。抱着他好安心。很久没有这种感觉了。好像在梦里我不是这么矮，这么副面孔，长发飘逸，是美女，所以应该不是我。那男人有想进一步的亲密，我在梦里也是寻求心灵上的相助相扶，所以告诉他，我想要很清静的关系。之后就忘了，可我知道这男人除了是黑社会，好像蛮能理解人的，哈哈！

在梦里我可是对他的体贴很感动，虽然他得逞后露出男人本性，不过也不知道后来他觉不觉得我的要求太过分，不要当情人才好？

Hmmmmm......

可能我喜欢的男人就是梦里的那个男人，不过我忘了他的脸，不是我见过任何人的脸。。。

攀缘

I clicked on his name and viewed his profile, and luckily I did not have a feeling to contact him.
While I failed to make Jambu and my friends to understand me, and I am no longer care of it.

Fragile

I saw his back this morning.
When I was leaving the cafe after breakfast.
And I think of him all the way to classroom, I nearly cry but luckily I had strong protection for myself, I forbid myself to think more deeply which may cause breakdown.
But I forgot about him right after I met Kah sui passing by, lol~~

Nice~

Nothing

He hurts me, although I am not so fragile already, I know I am hurt, cause my friends can detect my aura was so strong and so dark.
However, I overcame it immediately and accepted it as normal phenomenon in life.

I will not chat in anymore.
I will smile to him whenever I see him.

Luckily he did not spoiled my mood of travelling~~~

As a conclusion, I will never expect anyone to be a good guy anymore.

Defense mechanism 2

I learn this terms again.
Repression, I cant do this because I am aware of my feeling.
Suppression, I like him too much that I pretend I did not see him whenever he was around.
Introjection, I like him too much that the way I think, the way I response similar to him.
Identication, I like him too much that I will imitate his way of walking, his way of laughing.
Displacement, I like him too much that I unconsciously put my anger toward my friend who are also close to him.
Projection, I like him too much that I made my friend to confess she likes him too and later give advice for her confession.
Reaction formation, I like him too much that I become a adviser for his admirers and his personal adviser.
Undoing, I like him too much that I told the others I will never like a guy like him.
Sublimation, I like him too much and I cant get him so I went to learn something good for spirit.
Compensation, I like him too much and I am now can live my life even better without him.
Rationalization, I like him too much and I like him just because he is smart and he has a good body.
Idealization, I like him too much that I think he is a caring and pure and nice guy ever in this world.

Admit

I finally admitted to Cindy that I still have feeling on him.
I told her because I need to express my feeling and find for some advises.

Yea, after I told her, I knew that I should not continue doing this, cause he is not doing it only on me.

I do not hope to be suffer anymore...

Being manipulated

I feel better after talked with him, but at the same time, I raised my anxiety for my exam and study.

I wanna run back to my hometown now...

Confirmation

He is not my dream guy, proven.

Just because he cant even give RM2 for doing merits, lol~~

How nice if everyone is just like Jambu, doing good deeds.

Plus this is the second day people telling me they walked together.
And everyone asking whether they are together.
I am sad. I can not stand.

Thank you for letting me have this realization.
I will not fall in love anymore.

Mad

I lost my mind because he did not reply me or anything.
Plus I heard from my roomate that today they had lunch together, and leaving together before the other dismissed.

Yea, he told that he will keep some distances from his female groupmates...
But, as 2 years are not a short period, of course there are times that they will get together...

Sign...

The feeling of insecure makes me mad, I hate this feeling.

Anything can happen within this two years.
Look, I became so uncomfortable with myself just because he did not reply me, and I heard some rumors, so, to prevent further suffering, please stop the obsessions and compulsions to him!!!!

I do not want to live a hectic life.

小气

I am hot-tempered and petty person, now I know, and I need to change!!!

Fear

I have a fear to fall in love again.
I mean, I like previous me who do not really care of him, but slowly it progresses to the scary form of care.

And I scared to be suffered like what I experienced before, loving him but have no reciprocal.

I should stop messaging him now.

Obsession

I started my obsession toward him again.
I must control or else he will be avoiding me.
He did not reply me for twice already.
Means I chatted him too frequent, and it is not good.

This is the feeling I do not want.

暧昧

I almost forgot the definition of this term after so long of communication with him.
Cause for him, chatting is nothing.
He chats with so a lot of girls. I already immune that chatting is non of the sign of admiration.

So I asked the girls.
They told me when there are choices of chatting, you choose to tell him all about your life, there are promises between two, and when you both seeing each other, smiles appear automatically.

Yes, when I was coming out from hostel, I saw him opposite of me, and I saw he immediately smile and I do not know what is it means...
Because we had long time not seeing each other?

I miss him, same goes to him?

Improving

He did not tell me about his location this time.
He started to feel that it is not easy for me to survive through my medical life.
And he complimented me become more mature and he told me I am easy to be manipulated.
I was thinking about him all during the journey back from school.
We progressively become more potential to be couple now...

When I think about this, from a very sweet internal environment, suddenly I became so stress and so suffering for this potential.
I do not know, this sweet feeling can sustain for how long and will it subsequently follow by only pain and suffering?

I am not sure.
I need to wait, and decide...

Skip a beat

I told him that a girl wanted to introduce a guy to me who she felt bored to.
He asked me to bring him along if I  meet that guy, why, cause he wants to make that guy realise he need to give up cause that girl does not care about him.

Why I feel that he was saying to bring him cause he is with me, to make that guy realise that I am owned, but lastly he switched the meaning? Errmm, is it meaning that he admitted somehow, we are having some unusual relationship?

I know he will never reveal his feeling. He is that kind of guy wont tell but act.

Then tonight I found that maybe he and she become close again...
I do not know, I do not want to know.
I... I need to let myself do not know.

Stories telling

He treats her bad recently, like he walked very fast when they walked together while he is not in that speed if he walks alone.
He did not even wish her birthday, like last year he sent her a message on 2am.
He does not feel like to be in the same space with her...
She told me their stories during the date after Pro result.
In front Joo, he told her that there is a reason he treats her bad when she complaint to Joo, and told her that one day she will know the reason.

He did not pass her attendance sheet yesterday and even today, while he will skip Sunday class, she is very angry with him.While tonight she showed me their last conversations, he was like avoid to meet her cause he already passed the attendance sheet to HK who is same posting and staying same hostel.

She told me they once shared thoughts.
Something he never tell others, he told her. Same goes to her, her problems that she told me yesterday, he knew long ago.
So she cannot understand why when she feels so close with him and started to expect, he just leaved like that.

I am always the one who contacted him first, while maybe he was happily talking to her.
And the only different is I will never expect anything from him anymore, except money.
So that is why I know more about him, I know the reason behind all these actions.

While, now I know why so many girls like him, and actually he did a lot behind but expecting others not to like him and pretending that no one will like him.

However, he was assuring to me that he will not too close with the girls in his group, was not close with Lyn, does not have a walk with her, there is nobody fancy him in his group, wanted to know my feeling to him, teasing me whether I jealous while other girls can be in same group with him.

I have these feelings, but I cannot let myself fall anymore.

Something more

I knew more of their relationship...
And I questioned myself who am I?
I am always not the only one.
I know it.

I do not feel like record it here I felt myself too silly, too evil...

Lyn needs help, hope everything will be fine.

New lifestyle

After 3 months of meaningful life, come back to school.
We have a home here now!!
Even we were tiring cleaning the room and the house, but we are happy!!
My life have changed.
I love it!!!

道晚安

昨晚睡前看一看他还在线上。
虽然这是我每天上网的习惯，看一看他在不在线上，昨晚不知怎么的就提醒他早点睡，道了个晚安，没有勇气等他回复就下线了。
第二天看见他的回应，他都只说再见。
他只有一次生气的时候说了晚安。

可能只限不跟我道晚安吧。。。

真坏。。。

贪

为什么就是贪爱欲？
为什么明明可以独善其身却深陷情潭？
我被加入别的组了，和他分开了，再也看不见他的名字会出现。。。
他和她同组，可以常常看见他的动向吧？
这才有了分别的感觉。。。
他不久后就会把我忘记了吧？

淡忘。。。

虽然他说了那么多话来安抚我，到底他就是知道我没安全感吧？
他只是对我说说，还是认真的？
他解释了好多，可我只是想他说一句肯定的话。。。
说到底，是我贪心。

可不可以不要忘了我？

谈近况

昨晚和礼谦聊天聊了很久，到了这把年纪都是为钱烦恼了。
我就还没进入这染缸，读书读得久的好处。。。

今早见到番石榴，原来他一直都在这里。

所以说，当朋友总好过当情人。
我们连聊天见面都不行了。
话说如此，见他的时候他笑得好灿烂，看来他过的不错，只能算是旧识。
不多不少心里还是有些埋怨的。。。
心里并没有不舒服，如果这是从前，他在这也不吱一声，我会很难过。
现在的我说好吧，就是少了痛苦，说不好吧，就是冷漠无情。

过去的事不该重提，现在各过各的，将来，远着呢，或许我记忆坏了，压根儿都不记得发生过什么。

做人嘛，真的要学。

缺乏安全感的男人

喜欢美女，又没安全感，很爱女友，却怕女友没安全感，他是有病呢？还是可爱？
他不想知道她的生日，那么说来，我却捡到了便宜，至少他给我唱了生日歌，不是吗？
虽然是迟了，但他也的的确确跟我说过生日快乐。。。

他就爱让人觉得他坏，可是他有矛盾，又让人觉得他可爱~

他就爱唬弄我，就不爱跟我说实话。。。

实验

Lol, I failed.
I talked to him, and I waited for his reply.
This is not good, not good.

心存感激

不管怎样，我是得为自己的冲动付上责任。

原来晚会的主题都下来了，我都不知道，哈哈~
蓝，我没钱买新的啊，不去了~
LOL~
况且日子又是我不喜欢的。
不去。

都胖成这个样子了，真失败啊！

还有两星期就开学了，蛮期待的~

时间可以证明一切。

前几天我梦见益，奇怪了，我和他聊得很少呢。

我对这些事已经没什么想法了吧？
只要有团体影响，我不会再被污染吧？

希望我未来两年的组都是和平的，不会引起大风波的，也不会让我的心不宁静的。
希望未来两年顺顺利利的过，平平稳稳的过，我就很开心了。

和乐幸福

Because of puzzles I did not care of my brother, and after he went back, just I realized I was lost in fixing puzzles, so I threw the puzzles away already.

Sometimes, people tend to ignore something which are more important but they care of something such as dramas, games, movies and etc.

This is because they lost their minds, addicted to something too much.
Just like people who addicted to smoking, they ignored their health, and ignored their loves one's health.

Meanwhile, I think I should start to care of myself too.
I was doing "outside" stuffs and ignoring "inside", I should do it and pray hard that I can be dreams come true~

回忆

见他一面，勾起我好多好多的回忆。
关于他，我并不是没写，那时候，并没有很爱写部落格，就算现在，也是因为知道对别人说自己的事，别人总会厌烦。
*我之前写了前前后后的上千篇的牢骚，我想以后也不会再去翻阅。*
他的一切，我一直以来都写成一封封的信，像是对他倾述，但写好后信纸总是夹在书里。都已经从笔友成为手机友，通电话了，再写信不是都矫情了吗？
想分手的念头，并不是因为其他人而有的。如果我说，从中学被追求时就不确定自己的感情，时时想着到底我是喜欢他，还是不喜欢他？
他在我横冲直撞盲目喜欢他的时候浇熄了我的念想，从此我不再多想我与他是否有进展空间。
虽然我很皮地一直试探他，结果我玩火自焚了。
我想，从中学，到预科班，到大学，再到留级，身边的女性朋友都知道我对这一段的态度。
一开始，我并没有太注重他，他也知道啊，他花了多少时间，我才接他电话。
我想，进大学时我是有重度的适应障碍，他花了多少钱，牺牲了健康，陪我说话，对我没有怨言。
闹了分手，为了挽回，冒着毕业就是失业的险，之后饿肚子也陪我去旅行。
留级的一年，两人很恩爱的，有着小争执，可是不懂咋的，毅然决定剪去我的发，应该是有心理准备分手了吧？
或许是因为他总是说工作忙，不能陪我，多么好玩的年龄啊！！
就是那时异常的痛苦，分隔两地，思想不成熟，认为为什么他活得好好的，为什么他不痛苦？

我记得了，第一次我要他去见我，我快生日了，他说他找不到票，我不勉强，之后他说他再找一找票，既然都没诚意，那就不用了吧，我并不是一定要他陪我过生日，再说，过来就要花钱，消费不是便宜的。（之后他怪我骗他我忙，宁愿跟朋友看表演。难道我想的吗？花几百块来了那么远，难道只让他待在房里等我有空？）
第二次我要他来见我，他是无业游民，身上没钱，他母亲就骂他说才没见面个把月，这么快就去见人家，没用！他就不来了。
第三次我要他来见我，他有工作了，他说工作才刚起步，不懂该请假么。我想，我要他三次都没来过，我不要他来了，我再也不要他过来见我了。
慧娴都知道，我都兴高采烈地告诉朋友们我男朋友终于来见我了，结果呢？
再也不要了，怎么都不问了，已经够了。
我不爱他么？或许刚开始不爱，后面的痛苦，足以证明，我不只是喜欢那么简单，只是太年轻，不懂得怎么去经营。
附上我为他哭的照片。

话说有一晚夜深，我在留级的时候，不懂受了什么委屈，给他摇个电话，反正我们无时无刻都惦记着对方。他迷迷糊糊之中，说我造作，常没那事说那事。他怎么那样说我呀？可委屈了，那时太执着了，容不下情人对自己的看法。自己在他眼中，是那么不完美。偶像剧看太多，小说读太多，把爱情美化了。好像是我硬吵给他醒，还是他过后主动给我电话。原来他睡了，说的全是梦话，可是他的梦话伤了我的心，该怎么办呢？只能用声音抚慰我啊，我能有个拥抱么？我能让他拍个头么？聊完电话，捉着小抱枕睡吧，别想太多了。





对了，更有一次是，他刚工作，我快开学了，让他在我开学前，有开斋节公假，他只要请个两天假就可以回家一星期吧？他不回，宁愿在外地，没上班，也不回来。
一星期后，他告诉我，他要跟姐姐姐夫回家过中秋，请三天假，回家几天。
我说，请更少假就有更多假期，还可以和我见面，他选择请多假，回来少天，我已经不在了。

前几天，他说他九月再回家，刚好，就是我开学前一天，完全和两年前一样的情景，只不过，我们已经不是情侣，我不再生气，他不再在乎。分手不是坏事，至少我少了皱纹，他多了自由。

很多时候，我们都是见面了吵架，浪费可以相处的时间，去斗气，宁愿不见面，他知道后很生气，我们一年仅有那几个日子可以见面，我却怄气。

分手的导火线是我让他看歌词，他说没意思。
我想告诉他，我们已经融入了对方的生活，相重叠。
结果是因为这首歌，我们分手了。

分手的火药，也是因为我不能接受我在他眼中，是那么的不堪。
我要他照顾自己，他说我自私。
我说他算错数，亏钱了，他像我爸一样，不肯认。
我要赢不要输，所以我是失败的女人。

这些生活上小小碎碎的事，让我想着，如果有一天，我们终于待在一起了，会不会过了几天，就发现我们生活上一点都不契合？
我还有四年才毕业，我们各要浪费对方四年的青春，最后才发现原来我们争执不小也不少？

一时的迷恋不会让我那么笨，去放弃培养了四年的感情。
所以现在的我，听见异地恋，就举起反对牌。
除非，是相处过了才分开，或者是有把握不会太久就可以待在一起。
一开始就三年半的异地恋，再四年已知见面的机会渺茫的异地恋？
谁有把握？

思想上的落后，令我更自卑。
他教我学习，要改变思想，那么才可以存活。
我很简单，我听不懂，我悟不到，没有明确的方向，也没有固定的方法，我，跟不上他的脚步。我听不懂他说的话。不过我尝试跟随。
我学着吃素，他说动物生出来不是让我们吃的，不是必要的不要吃肉，不过如果已经在盘子里，那为了感恩感谢，就要把它吃光光，不要浪费它的牺牲。
这个很明确，我做得到。
他让我学会感恩，早上醒来，感谢床让我睡得舒服，感谢牙刷洗干净我的臭牙，感谢走廊陪我去上课，感谢阳光给我温暖。
我有学着做，因为那样让我觉得我靠近他多一点点。

分手前我们有见面，有相处，我承认我变心了。
当我抱着他的时候，心里是安心的，平静的，舒服的。
我不能跟他相吻，因为我已经不想那样做。
第三者让我领悟到，就算是我爱着一个人，难免我以后不会变心，他以后也不一定是我的丈夫，如果我不爱惜自己，那么我以后如何面对我的丈夫？
那时开始自律自爱，到今天，我只吻过家绮，新年被惩罚的。
就算是静坐，也给不到我那种感觉，是一种只属于我，只爱着我的感觉。

我忘了这种感觉，或许明天禅修，我可以模拟这种幸福的感觉，或许静坐会进步？

他是那么的珍惜着我，如果我有下一段恋情，是要比这一段幸福，才不枉费他的退出。
如果，有那么一天。

你我重逢在何年何月
我为你珍藏一滴眼泪
那是感谢
那是瞭解
有缘才相会

Staying home

I am staying home for too long, and I need to change, to make myself be better.
It is a challenge for me to stay at home.
Every time I stay here, something will be happened.
I have to learn, and I should solve it before I back to school.

感情事

一星期没跟明明联络，对他就淡掉了。
每次都欺骗自己，他再联系我的话，又会怎样呢？

那天聊着聊着，番石榴一句话就拆穿我。
我故意误导他，他却清醒得很。
他懂我的想法，因为我现在的想法才追得上他三年前的想法。
我终于明白他说的话，也懂得了我现在追求的感情，是我三年前拥有的。
后悔么？
如果我不曾失去，那我就不懂的成长，也不会珍惜了。
有人问我，我的初恋是个怎样的人，我说，这世上不会有比他对我更好的人。
如果每个人都值得拥有一份最完整的爱情，那么，别人都还在等待，我已经亲手把它送走了。
他们说，如果还爱，就去争取吧！
不，我们还能承受多少次的争吵？我们还能承受多少次的离别？我们还能承受多久的分离？
现在挺好的，我不吵不闹不怨，他不疼不管不理。
他想要做的事儿，我明白了，只是不懂他要如何办到。祖师连方法都有了，材料也有了，就是人们的烦恼太重，就没了。

说找个和我做一样的事儿的吧,那怪像乱伦的，都亲如兄弟姐妹了。
那有哪个男人会让你自由的，不必生孩子的？
不喝酒的，不吸毒吸烟的，不嫖不赌的？
还不杀蚊子蚂蚁，钓鱼打猎的，如果有，我就嫁了。

番石榴

或许他会重新成为最了解我的人。
Wow!
他说"我们",期待他真正成为我们的一员！！
Sadhu sadhu sadhu!!

修行札记

能分享是好的，不过如果不知分寸分享过多就坏事了！！
能劝到身边的人当然最好，不过如果被放飞机，或者不被了解，那么做回自己的本分就好。
明明说了，如果我会觉得失望失落，那么我的心态就不正确了。
有能力带领一人，如果他是对的人，那也已经值得了！

不度无缘，无缘不度。

每天在学校见面的人都尚未能接受，如果他不是有缘人，那一年见几次面的，若勉强，即是让他拔腿落跑。

今天已经是够法喜的一天，不过如果照这样看来，甘文阁法师交代我办的事就难以实现咯。。。


 从小到大的朋友，也是因为自己在大学学过，所以才能接受我分享的佛法。

布施供养法师之后，我们就诵念早课，皈依三宝，受五戒，忏悔，以及顶礼供养三宝经~

聊佛法是一件很法喜的事，没有任何其他话题，可以远离烦恼，增加智慧~









昨天在甘文阁供僧~法师很开心，因为我懂的比一般人多！他说让我带朋友或有想学佛的人，就算不布施供养(因为有些人听见布施就会躲得远远的)，纯粹诵经听佛法修功德也好！原本以为很容易的我，开始觉得这个任务需要时间，LOL~

 供养了米和油，供养之前诵经让心宁静~

忆念功德啊！萨度萨度萨度~

过后去班台去碰一碰运气看看会不会刚巧娣娣姐姐供僧~

娣娣姐姐的爸爸！

法师坚持让大家坐在椅子上，受戒及供养仪式~

大合照~~

能让身边的人也行善是件很幸福的事~

行善的画面很令人法喜呢！！

Peace

Peace of mind, peace of family??
I should not stay at home for too long.
Now my situation is more complicated but I am not down.
I am just thinking that this is a normal phenomenon in life.
I cant share this with him, nor with my friends.
I know that he is no longer wanted to talk to me from his conversations.
Now he has the freedom to go anywhere, with lots of friend, not lonely, he does not need me to spare his time.
Yea, I am too special.
Lol~~~

Dangerous

I asked him to upload photos, and he uploaded and informed me, hahahahahaaa!!!!

And I found that I do not obsess with him anymore!!!
Good good!!!

Testy

I am still hot-tempered...
I hate this feeling.
That's why I admire people who stays calm in any situations...

Return

He reached home.
I thought he still in Australia.
Took flight yesterday, and I contacted him today.
He asked me what is fun about Pangkor, I told him nothing, and he does not feel like coming.
Then he ignored me.
=.=

What the...

Emptiness

I found emptiness after chatting with friends.
The feeling is too strong and I do not feel comfortable with it...

小钟

我想你了啊！！没话题说了，没借口找你了，唉。。。

无聊

打开friend list，刷一刷名字，竟然没有可以聊天的对象？
并没有像以前失落，只是觉得这是必然的事。
似乎我的世界安静了许多~~~

爱上你

He thinks of me when he saw article to be happy.
He concerned about me, hahahahahaa~
I miss him, but he did not feel the same.
He wants to help me to be a happier person, I know.
He is a very good friend.
I think he is busy to farewell with his friends.
I should not disturbing him.

He never have a thought to be with me.
I will definitely faint if he says he likes me too.

Moody

I feel better after telling him my problem...
At last I still dependent to him.
And I felt that we are really close now.
Not like the previous time, it was me the one who thought we were close.

^.^
Good mood now~~

Surrender

I can not hold it anymore.
I can not chat with him anymore.
I found that when I felt down, I wished to talk to him.
But I know if I really tell him, whether he cares or not, things are gonna to have a change.
It is really a deep side of me, I am scared to let him know.
As I know he might act as a good friend and console me, or just play bad to tease about my immaturity.
Both way, will make me suffer as in, either I fall for him deeper, or I get hurt.
No, I do not want these to happen.

I can not depend on him this much, this stage is enough.
That's why I kept disturb him but I did not tell him anything.

I wish to get a good feedback, at least one and I can get hope.
I am falling to a ground where there is no one for me to share my joy, my opinions and my happiness.
I have to fake myself?

While I was shooting by someone that I am forcing others to do good deeds, and I should not feel sad.

Seeing people asking each other to take alcohol, showed a sarcastic phenomenon that common to ask other to conduct bad things is normal than asking people to do good deeds.


“Right is right even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong even if everyone is doing it.” 
― Augustine of Hippo

Courage

Because of him and because of prince, I stepped out of my comfort zone...
This is why I love both of them...

I learnt to grow.
I love the me who changed because of them.
I made my world wider.

Not bad!

人生的意义

## 人生的意義


二千年前，有一位國王，和臣子出遊，看到美好的江山，不禁感嘆，要是能長生不老，多好！

臣子說，如果人都長生不老，現在全國的人口一定很多，生活環境會很擁擠。古早的國王也還在位，您或許只能分配到，極小片的土地，成為貧苦的農民，正在為今年的收成，夠不夠養家活口而煩惱，那裡能像現在，悠閒地看風景？ 

人生的意義是什麼？暫且按下。
先談談「究竟是什麼人，會問這個問題呢？」
努力耕耘以求餵飽全家人的農夫，不會問；
全心全意準備升學考試的學生也不問；
致力研發新軟體的工程師也不問。
熱戀中的年輕人也不問。
因為他們全力投入，生活有了具體目標，當然不會問這「無聊」問題。

農夫餵飽了全家，學生考上了理想的學校，工程師解決了軟體的問題，戀人擄獲了對方的心。
全都會覺得，人生無比美好！更不會生出「人生有什麼意義」這種「無聊」問題。

如果，農夫努力耕作，卻餵不飽家人，
學生用功唸書，卻落榜了，
工程師努力了半天，卻被別人搶先發明，
愛人移情別戀了，這時候，他們或許就會問：「人生有何意義？」

人生的意義就在當下。##


There are things that beyond you can understand.
Most people can not accept this, I mean, they know this is true, but it is too cruel, then people tend to cheat themselves so that they think they will not experience that, it will not happen on them.

Cheer up!!!

It is quite sad that I have to hide some parts of myself to let common people to accept who I am.
I experienced this in school, and now I will face it in hometown.

Some said I forced them to do good deeds.

Hello, you already wasted how many years and days in your life spending all you luck, and now I just ask you to donate once, and tell them a bit about dhamma, they said I am over??

Hello, everyday you are speaking bad words and dirty words anytime you want to say, and now I just ask you to spend 5 minutes to make your mouth speak good words and chant, is it over?

When people said, doing good deeds not necessary have to spend money, and when I introduce online chanting which is free of charge, they still have objections, saying that they do not understand the chant, saying they have no time.

Well, that's why I asked you to do good deeds with money. It is much more easier compared to you have to chant by yourself right?

Oh, then some will say me so realistic, only request money from friends.

Hello, I donate too, I donate more than everyone I asked.
Do you think I need to cheat your money and let all of my friends think bad of me?
I love to have the feeling of being mis-thought that I am a cheater?
Wow, while people have never expose to this kind of knowledge, never know anything about this field, and they straight away shoot me that I am wrong?

It is just like a layman tells the doctor how to operate, and the doctor wants to explain him about anatomy, then the layman says, no the bomoh said there will be something in the where where, must take it out, no, your decision is wrong, your way to operate is wrong, you should do like this and like that.

Or a layman heard something from friends and MO, then when he heard something different from the specialist, then he questioned the specialist why his explanations are different from others, and most people said it that way, specialist must be wrong.

Lol, funny right?

People are willing to go for Famine 30, it is a good action.
While if I tell people I willing to hold 8 precepts, to not eat after noon, it have the same effects that we can save some food, we can know the feeling of hunger, but then people will say why are you so unhealthy?
What?? Eat too much at night, when our digestive system is weak, and make your body wastes energy is considered healthy??

I should not be so emotional, I should not explain myself, just because I still care to have my friends around, I want them to understand me.
When I do not really care of them, I wont even talk to them.


Who cares? I care.
I will not, in future.

失望

原来被误解还是会很痛。。
眼泪像上次一样狠狠地落下来。
我又被认为是邪教份子。

无所谓被人怎么看我。
我现在只想保护一个人的心，只有他。
我觉得我很傻，我很驴。
对他，我很自私。
我也不懂我为什么那么执着。

就让自己知道谁才是真正的朋友吧~

伤心

学了那么久，诵经也不少了，我竟然还会被冷言冷语伤到心。
其实劝了人，听不听是别人的事，为什么我要伤心呢？
是自己太没用了。
功德大障碍小，功德小障碍大。
是我的功德太小了，别人才觉得我说的话不足以信赖。
我应该好好地，多多的修才是。
往今天的目标前进，加油！！

Life - Holiday - Meaningful

I think in facebook it should appear as #life #holiday #meaningful, lol~~
By the way, I always do not follow trend.

Did many things after coming back from Taiwan.
Do not plan to write about my trip, I guess I will not able to complete it, hahaha!!!

I start to miss him already, not even 12 hours from last conversation.
Yes, I did it again...
The lucky part is I do not feel much already, although can not control myself to chat him.
I will never expect to have any progression with him.

No fluctuation of mood.

He knows me well now, we exchanged thoughts, the real conversations started.
Anyways, I angry with him when he again changed his mood like changing clothes.
Haizz......

I will only find a boyfriend that I can surely know he will be my husband, and we will go through every hardship and grow old together.

Special relationship

Yes, I am greedy, I do not want to be stranger, I want be good friend.
We were chatting, and I should not do that...

He knows me, but not really knows me, but more than any other guy now.
He might be a good friend too.

灰心

如果现在我都说，不想，不爱，不喜欢，好像很灰心。
对，不知怎地，我现在有点灰。。。

爱上你，不需要理由

我想，我是在你毫无预警就唱生日歌给我听时爱上你的。。。
你根本没必要那么做，却让我束手无措，掉入你的陷阱。

I WILL BE RIGHT HERE WAITING FOR YOU

Wherever you go, whatever you do 
I will be right here, waiting for you 
Whatever it takes, or how my heart breaks 
I will be right here waiting for you 

寂寞

当你寂寞，不要到处找人聊天。
打开你的部落格，跟自己聊天吧！

想要找个听我分享台湾之旅的人，可是看了聊天名单，并没有合适的。
曾经有个人能听我说的废话，容忍我的三八，可我已没有理由再跟他说话。
一个人在吉隆坡，待在家，没人陪。
不过，去出玩也很累人。

旅途中，想要一个可以陪我跋山涉水，志同道合的伴，可我想，那也只是虚幻。
我没法跟别人契合。

想到了他，可是他的言语中，不无一刻是不想气我的。
是我气人太多了吧？

看看戏好了。。。

悲喜参半

与怎么样的人，做怎么样的事。
人有多面，哪一面都是我。
倒是希望，有那么一部分的人，可以接受每一面的我，而不是对他觉得陌生那一面的我，视而不见。

放假了，有时间了，开始我劝募的行动。
无奈我接下来都不在岛上，想跟安哥安蒂劝募也怕之后他们找不到我而对我有误会，还是等到回来之后再劝募好了。所以我先向朋友们劝募，透过网路，我可以看到平时不会见到的朋友。
只要是在我面子书里出现的，通常是我见过的。
当然不是面对面的谈话，就是比较难。

最近欺诈案很多吧？
很多朋友对我有所怀疑。不过很开心的是，有些朋友二话不说，就爽快答应。
一，是因为他们觉得只要是好事就可以去做。
二，是他们相信我吧！
三，是真的了解佛教是有建佛像的功德和利益。有些因为疑惑，经过解释过后，也欣然答应。

有些平时无话不说的朋友，在我起了序后，对我接下来的解释视而不见。

劝募是为了让更多人知道，这世上还是有好人好事，也可以间接让们认识佛教，也可以让他们有机会布施。
而我也透过劝募，可以遇到好人善人，可以成为别人的善知识。

通常朋友问我为什么那么发心。
其实我这一年来都持续的做着，只是别人对我，还有一起做活动的朋友们都有深深的误解。报章上的，让对佛教了解不深的人看了，有误导之嫌，让我们好事不敢光明正大的做。看看论坛上佛友的讨论，多是议论该协会怎么不分轻重的把事情闹上报章，而不是谴责普罗大众所不齿的，我的王子。王子受千夫所指，但，看看他教了我们什么。

今年我和同修做了什么？每个周末到寺院去供僧。有些同修有空，甚至会连去两天。

供僧做了什么？准备早斋午斋供养僧人，打扫寺院。

为什么要供养僧人？
我们去了那么久寺院，看见到寺院去的都是年长一辈的泰裔。
偶尔看见华人信徒，都是到寺院求发财，抽签看命，看看佛像，当做逛花园一般。
经常走动几个的寺院大概有七八间，有时候因为时间调配的关系，有些寺院不常去。

1. 龙舟寺有一位年轻的师父，他去年曾说十二月就要还俗。
   我们很惋惜，希望师父可以坚持下去。
   但我们一月再去，他说他会新年前还俗，回家过年，三月再去，没再听说他要还俗了。很感动，真的，虽然不懂真正原因，但隐约知道是因为我们。
   也许他是唯一在那里可以翻译住持所说的泰语的师父，他在寺院里可以帮助我们。
   所以为什么我们要去供僧？
   我们希望我们可以为马来西亚的佛教增加一点信心，不想让师父们感叹老一辈的信徒年老后，他们将难以维持生计，被逼还俗。
   
   
2. 有一间寺院，可能信徒住的较远，通常都只是供养早斋。师父们早斋只吃一点点，然后把早斋留下，各自去修行后，午斋回斋堂吃早斋剩下的食物。而那间寺院的大雄宝殿也因为经费不足而停工了。水泥灰灰的外墙，殿里的工程没完成，不能让人们在寺院里点灯供佛，不能让主持在殿里说经解惑，也不能让信徒在殿里面佛静坐。
   
   
3. 有一间寺院，我们甚至不能在那里供僧，因为供养的人少，僧人们都去别的寺院接受供养，不能安心修行。
   
   
4. 卧佛寺有一尊很大的佛像。四周绿意莹然，相对的小动物也很多。虽然有围栏，不知怎么的，鸟粪狗粪一地，就算清洗了，一个星期后又会脏了。难道就不清洗吗？
   如果一间寺院肮肮脏脏，我想有心学佛的人也会因为环境影响而不想踏进寺院一步吧？如果地上都是沙，那么我相信会也有人因为不想脱鞋把脚弄肮脏而选择留在外头。
   
   难道学佛就一定要在寺院里吗？难道就不可以忍耐一下，之后再洗脚吗？
   不是每个人对佛法的慧根都是那么深，也不是每个人都可以为了学佛而容忍那么一点点小事。
   
   不过可以肯定一点，如果一个人从来没见过佛像，从来没听过佛法，从来没见过僧人，那他不会有对佛教有基本的概念，那是佛法僧三宝。
   当他接触之后，也可以借着盛钵，打扫，点灯，供花有形式的修行累计功德，到持戒，不杀生，不偷盗，不邪淫，不妄语，不饮酒，从而让心更清净，来静坐。

以上也只是我懂的，能分享的，一些些的佛法，而我懂的佛法也只是0.000000000000000000 X infinity 1%。

这篇文章我是没勇气贴在我面子书，不是所有人可以面对那么赤裸裸的我，不是每个人都可以接受这个事实。

心系

他。
我去撞豆腐好了。。。
=.=
拜托，放松点！

白痴

是不愿承认自己智障，我把自己推到危险边缘。
假惺惺，你不安好心。
别再来打扰我平静的生活。
若说我当晚遇到什么，我就不再是这个我了。
我已经开始，恨你。

心淡

我竟然傻的可以，叫你帮忙。
幸好我是幸运的，并没有沦落的要从礼堂走路回酒店。
我竟然傻的可以。。。
对你还要抱着怎样的心情，难道我真的笨的可以？
不了，对不起，谢谢。

明明

你没有我，你可以找其他人。
我没有你，我不想去找任何代替你的人。

无奈

回到家什么都不想做。。。
我也不知道我做错了什么，或许就是我懒吧。。。
压力好大！！好大！！！

Hurt

First I hurt because he dates her tonight.
Second I hurt because he treats me like shit.
Third hurt is why I even bother anything about him.

I hate him, for now.
I seriously hate him, and I feel want to hurt him.
I felt I am violent and I hate this me.

Love is poison, can make people have such complex feeling, I do not want to fall in love anymore.
I do not want to hurt myself anymore.

Slurred speech

I saw he messaged me while I was talking to my friend.
My brain stunted and I cant react properly.
My speech became slurred and not organised..
I was talking in Mandarin, my main language...
Why I am so easily affected by him?
He did not say anything more than greeting...
=.=

Moon, failure...

Connected

I knew what he is thinking already.
He observed me the day we went for his birthday celebration.
I was bullying Lyn cause I knew everything I ask her to do in front him, she will do it for me even ordinary day she will not.
I think this is why he said my friends all tolerate with me.
Lol, if this is the incidence he took for reference, then I have nothing much to say.
I thought he was observing through normal days and that is why I did not deny it because it might be true, but I seriously look down of him if he ignored my tolerance to everyone in normal life and think me as a bad girl.
I do not need someone who cannot differentiate whether I am that kind of person or I am playing, or I am pranking.
He rather to appreciate girls who hide their true self in front him*I am saying generally girls will pretend nice in front of guys who they admire*, and mask who they really are.
While I like to do something that oppose what guys will like, and make myself even worse than the one who I really am, in front of the guy I admire.
I just hope the guy can see through me and find out the real me and believe that I am not that kind of girl I acted I am.
Yes, this is difficult, but it is the challenge I gave to the only one, this is my defense mechanism to filter the right guy who sincere to me.

I do not care now how he thinks about me, cause he failed the task.
And I do not need a guy who does not understand me.

Jealousy

I do not like when we are listening to one songs that ever played on his car, and think of him, together.
I do not feel comfortable with this.
Why I am not the only one?
Why should I share memories with another girl?
I just want to be one and only one for a guy.
If there is presence of another girl or girls, that is not what I want.
No, I deserved better.

Harsh

Maybe he is right about me, but it is a bit harsh.
After my discussions with friends, I found that, human-human interactions need tolerances.
If a person want you in his/her life, they will try to tolerate.
And he looks me as a failure among human-being, and I actually can turn away and let him drift away from me.
He looks others comfortable naturally, while I am naturally irritating.
This is one of my problem too.
Not only him, all friends around me treat me like I am rubbish.

Lyn said me had been sensitive for some minor things.
But all those minor things make up life.
My life is miserable.
I can give an example as in, when you say good words to water, the formation of water changes.
And when he said me as a failure, then said me under-confidence, did he realize that, it is the reason why I am inferior?
I can sense people have bad impressions toward me, I can not pretend I do not know, that is why I am under-confident.

While people tend to bully and step beyond the line when they think they are close to each other.
He does not think we are that close, but I did.
That's is how the problem comes.

Mean, he does not think that we are close, and he does not want me to disturb his peaceful life, and he felt uncomfortable with me.

I do not need

I dont need , I dont need, I dont need.
Usually people who said this kind of words means she/he seriously wants something very much.
I need to overcome my under-confidence.
I do not necessary to own pretty features, I need a kind heart.

Moon, be strong!

Soul search

He helped me to so soul search.
I learnt this term from him.
People close with me know my flaws, and he is the one who told me so directly.

I think I was immature last time.
Jambu tried so hard to help me but I was so ignorant.
Yet he still tolerate with me.

Chris tried to help me too.
But because he was not as related to me, so he did not try hard.

Ming Ming was the one who trained me for two years, lol~
Although he did not really need to spend much efforts on me, just because he was closer to me, he can appear in front me, so the effects are the largest.

Well, I still admire him, but I think the feeling now is the same as my feeling to Jambu.
While I hate Chris although he did nothing wrong, just a projection of emotion, lol~

Last day

I saw him when I hugged my friends after my examination.
He was standing, I am not sure if he was looking at me.
But I looked at him for once, and he was like staring without focus on something.
I met him when I went to the bank.
I grated him and I was about to go, he offered to send me, asked me to wait him in the car with other guys.
I talked to the guys, and I broke his new pillow...
Errm, it was so embarrassing.
And lastly I acted like a kid that I asked him to stop the car somewhere.
Lol, totally I loss image.
Nevermind, I do not need to impress anyone anymore.

I will be the simply me, the original me.

Change?
No way.

Last one

Tomorrow, termination on.
He told me he does not feel like having any Chinese-educated girl.
Hahahahaa, maybe it was not planned, but he did intend to tell me that.

Maybe I have chance to get another guy, but I wish to terminate my love life.
From tomorrow, I am free from those things.

I hope I will never fall in love in my future, this life and even future life-sss.

I reserved the place for him, anytime as long as he found my good, but it seems like impossible.
He knew all about me now, and he just looks me as another human-being.
I tried, I satisfied with my efforts.
Everyone should do the best for themselves, the best for me now is, forget the one who does not appreciate me and avoid myself from being hurt again.

Strength grew in you, Moon!

Suppression

Clicked on your name, read what we had discussed, I miss you already.
Tomorrow is the last day.
Can I cry?
Can I??
Looking at your photos...
I miss you.

2 days more

I promised myself to give up.
2 days left, I should not disturb him from now on, so that my feeling can fade silently.
The sorrow is too much, the heart aching too pain.
As in when I think of him, I can cry if the situation allows me to.
My tears was running in my eyes and I have to hide my tears beside Ling Ling.
I was talking to Ling Ling when I stepped into the toilet, as I turned and looked at the mirror, I saw I was about to cry.
The crying feeling too strong and I need to suppress it.
But if there was no exam the next day, I will allow myself to cry.

Specialty

He is special.
He attracted me, lol~
He acted mysterious...
But I am hurt.

Thrill

He said good night?
He sent me icon??
Homaigodddd!!

He must be very blurred that time since he was sleeping.
Hmmmm...
And I was happy for whole night and day.
Ok, stop!!

The icon just a smiley icon does not mean anything special!!
Moon! Steady!!

思念

想你了，我可以告诉你吗？
是不是有种默契，叫做我不找你，你就不找我？
感觉比较多的那一方总是输家。。。
当你了解我更多，还是认为我很幼稚？
你把我当成解闷的对象了吗？
想起我，是因为无聊，想听故事了？
不应该有痛苦，至少我们无话不谈，至少你不把我推开。
你知道，人是会得寸进尺的，尤其是女人。
当我从你身上得到越多，我却想要的越多。
我拥有你的时间，可以和你聊天，与此同时，拥有你时间的人，很多。
我了解了你的想法，清楚你的个性，明白你的嘴硬。
我，还喜欢这样的你吗？
我是不是只是追求你的神秘？
当你一一剖开你的心事，我，还喜欢那个你吗？

相

最近和我说话的人都和特别。
他说我，好奇心很强，不善于表达自己的不满，做事粗心，笑声很大声，不喜欢躲在家，天气热又不出门，小时是哭包，喜欢球类运动，脸皮厚，孩子气，有小小洁癖，懒得看书，爱躺着看书，喜欢吃肉，不怎么喜欢吃菜，还没尝过真正的接吻，偷吃了禁果。

有些准，有些不准吧？
我相信有些人有特殊的能力。
可是还是别用吧，免得伤了自己。

我还是喜欢王子啊~

Love

We discussed about own opinion on relationship, is it weird?

The truth revealed

He was not him through the whole time I like him.
From the start, he was having some changes, slowly...

It is weird that both special guys I met in my life really different from others.
I am kind of in accepting state, cause I am a weird girl too.
But I feel stupid now: How I had so much feelings when he was struggling?

He was right, I do not know anything about him.
The one I like is a guy who is happy all the time, be nice to anyone, sunshine.
He changed to become a guy who made me sad, made me feel bad, but I still like him??
Now, he talked anything about him to me, nice to me and have not telling me to leave for his peaceful life...

He is a nice guy.

Custom

I had shared something...

1 October

~To my little prince~

5 October

Sadness keeps engulfing me...

15 October

我到了这个时候还是一样

夜里的寂寞容易叫人悲伤

我不敢想的太多

因为我一个人

迎面而来的月光拉长身影

漫无目的地走在冷冷的街

我没有你的消息

因为我在想你

爱我别走

如果你说 你不爱我

不要听见你真的说出口

再给我一点温柔

16 October

不懂为什么会变成这样？

没听说，也转折的太快。

心是痛的，泪也干了。

永远原来也只是那么长。。。

终究成了陌生人？

20 October

How deep is you love?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2hsA2Qm2xE&feature=share

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJY9wYodL4Q

22 October

This year Halloween looks like difficult to get sweets lo >.<

25 October

26 October

貪念永遠都會扮演最體貼你的方式出現在你的心中，讓你用一生的時間來追逐你追不到的東西。 嗔心永遠都會扮演保護你的角色，燃燒你的慈悲，點燃你的仇恨。傲慢永遠都會扮演奉承你的侍者 ，隱藏你的缺點，放大他人的缺點。而它們會趕走快樂、幸福、清淨，迎來痛苦、嫉妒、憤怒，故我們要懂得取捨。

There are 2 type of people who will not be in love

1. Who will not fall for anyone

2. Who will not fall by anyone

There are 2 type of people easily being dumped

1. Who does not know love

2. Who does not know make love

Those people actually initially like one person, and lastly end with like to be one person.

Should have stable mood.

Wont let it happen again.

^.^

=.= 3 hours of sleep???

27 October

手牵手一步两步三步四步 望着天，

看星星一颗两颗三颗四颗 连成线，

背对背， 默默许下心愿，

看远方的星 如果听得见，

他一定实现。

28 October

I have a wish came true!!!

You know what I mean!!!

30 October

There are people who teased one who is absent to entertain a girl.

Bad.

3 November 

How deep is your love??

I really mean to learn

Cause we're living in a world of fools

Breaking us down

When they all should let us be

We belong to you and me

4 November

If you hate me........................... Delete me

If you think I'm nice................... Like my status

If you think I'm a good friend..... Comment on this status

If u ever liked me....................... Poke me, I won't tell

If you like me now...................... Inbox me a :), I won't tell

If you want to date me................ Inbox me a ♥, I won't tell

If you are brave........................ You'd put this as your status

7 November

8 November

第一次那么气！！气死人气死人！！！

*Just because I translated The Scientist and lost it*

1 December

The sun goes down

The stars come out

And all that counts

Is here and now

My universe will never be the same

I'm glad you came

7 December

Sometimes when we touched...

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=489856074387626

18 December 

I love you, Mr.Sunshine!!!

ただ、君を愛してる

19 December

20 December

我們總忽略愛著我們的人

卻愛著忽略我們的人

我們總愛著傷害我們的人

卻傷害著愛我們的人...

20 December

Hey, what do you want from me

Just don't give up I'm workin' it out

Please don't give in, i won't let you down

It messed me up, need a second to breathe

Just keep coming around~~

最美的不是下雨天

是曾與你躲過雨的屋簷

緩緩飄落的楓葉像思念

為何挽回要趕在冬天來之前

愛你穿越時間　兩行來自秋末的眼淚

讓愛滲透了地面　我要的只是妳在我身邊

24 December

31 December

2012 is almost over :)

Inbox me something you always wanted to

tell me (be honest and I dare you :D)

I promise it will be between us :)

Post this as your status , maybe people will

surprise you :)

*He followed me the post this as his status..*

2 January

15 January

I think of you, recently...

16 January

疯了疯了，快疯了！

25 January

真正愛你的男人

不會在意你的外表

不會介意你的身材

因為他真的愛你♥

29 January

30 January

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-iqTCGxyNM

*Is it this is what I mistreat of you?*


31 January

6 February

我說我想你，你就來見我，好不好

8 February

Ladies(and men), i am up for grabs this Valentine. So whoever that is interested to have a go with me, call me at XXXXXXXXXX

12 February

我很想你！

15 February

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91MS_rt4osY

怎么办，爱情甜又酸，偷偷爱你，快乐又孤单。

19 February

很多事情　不是誰說了就算

即使傷心　結果還是自己擔

多少次失望表示著多少次期盼

事實證明　幸福很難

我們之間　不是誰說了就算

拉扯的愛　徒增結局的難堪

一百次相愛只要有一次的絢爛

下一次　會更勇敢

當冬夜漸暖　當大海也不再那麼藍

當月色的純白變得陰暗

那只是代表快樂不再那麼簡單

當冬夜漸暖　當夏夜的樹上不再有蟬

當回憶老去的痕跡斑斑

那只是因為悲傷從來　都不會有答案

當冬夜漸暖　當青春也都煙消雲散

當美麗的故事都有遺憾

那只是習慣把愛 當作喜歡

重要的是　我們如何愛過那一段

20 February

Wish came true~

Emo-ing...

不做仲，不做保，不做媒人一世好

22 February

Emo emo emo...

3 March

机会给你啦，就不会自己打铁趁热T.T

4 March

心情愉快，没有乌云笼罩着我啦~~~

 7 March

想不到继续用我来当泡妞的话题，还真不简单 =.=

8 March

12 March

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6CcJV05uNE&feature=youtu.be

我还是爱着你 我还是念着你

连我也不相信 自己

我怎么学不会忘记

我还是爱着你 为什么我不甘心

如果没有拥有就没有失去

那为何我还会伤心

13 March

我不想　再想你的笑容　我会痛　懂不懂

我的心　在跳动　喊着说它要自由

我不想　再想你的温柔　多温柔　也不属于我

时间会帮助我　换一个梦

14 March

明明就很有灵感，怎么会功亏一篑！！

16 March

有一种心情，叫做：突然想去看海。

18 March

20 March

我已剪短我的发　剪断了牵挂　剪一地不被爱的分岔

　长长短短　短短长长　一吋一吋在挣扎

我已剪短我的发　剪断了惩罚　剪一地伤透我的尴尬

　反反覆覆　清清楚楚　一刀两断　你的情话　你的谎话

21 March

22 March

There is only piano accompany me the whole day,

cello had fallen asleep, laying there silently, looks old.

I think you had showed clearly,

I know and I understand,

you never feel reluctant.

You said you are sad, I do not believe.

Hold your hands and we spent time together, it was just the past.

Hope that he really love you more than I do,

just it worth me to force myself to leave.

How much you want me to think myself pathetic,

I am reluctant to separate with you,

why I still have to smile and pretend?

I have no such talent, tolerate with you and accept him.

Do not worry about me, I will be fine.

You are far gone away, me too will walk away slowly,

why I have to care of your feeling even you are the one who broke me?

I really do not own that talent, I can not be so quiet this soon,

I will learn to let you go, because I love you too much.

This is a sad guy song, who his lover leave him and will never come back..

Hope it will never happen on you, hope your lover love you as much as you love her.

23 March

Another sad guy song. This song is suggested to sing to a girl.

In a messy city, even wind has no freedom.

On the busy street, I am the loneliest guy.

Am I being charmed by love?

How I have such greediness thought again?

How much you love me?

Will it be long?

Will you leave me?

Even you look like obeying me, actually you loyal to yourself.

You wander along with love, never see you surrender.

I always make mistakes, like a busy spinning silly gasing, tiring.

Non-stop spinning, let it freely spin and I never control it,

I just cant stop it.

I want to love you so much, this is the thought that I cant endure.

I want to own your happiness, anger, sadness and moodiness.

You had occupied me, but you had not belonged to me.

How you want me not to guess what you are thinking about？

I want to love you so much, this is the torture that I cant bear.

Can I request you do not, do not choose to hide.

I just want to love you, I want to love you too much,

Is it I can just guess, just can guess is it your face in this heavy mist?

30 March

发于情，止乎礼.super nice feeling!!!

不同的人，為你做同一件事，你會感到天壤之別。

因為我們在意的，往往不是人做的事，而只是做事的人。

After finishing chocolate waffle,

waiting for a cup of nice milk,

Oppa sits with me face to face,

drawing some symbols on each other's palms~

Dont look at the other girls~

Dont bother what they said~

You are mine, mine!!

Dont talk about the other girls~

I am yours, yours~

Lets make a pinky promise that

you will never leave me~

Yeah!

I am cutest!

2 April

3 April

Someone's version more kiyooo...

I want see I want see!!!

https://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=2921623575031

5 April 

8April

10 April

13 April

14 April 

據說：你夢到了一個人，是因為那個人在想你。

Someone appeared in my dream.

He kept hiding, having his own tasks, and not showing up even he promised to...

I kept hoping, and lastly I disappointed...

Too bad, why I have this kind of complicated dream??

I want a pass!!!!

It hurts, when I am not able to talk to you

It hurts, when I am not able to share

my feelings with you

It hurts, when I am not able to see you

But, you are in my heart

Feeling you inside me is my art

I just need to close my eyes for the

conversation to start

I love you and I miss you too,

I care for you and need you too

Be mine forever.

18 April

21 April 

我说不出来为什么爱你 但我知道 你就是我不爱别人的理由

25 April 

My friend tagged me this and you have the sexiest body, lol~

27 April 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5XuXKxjdEI

我就是这样的女生。。

29 April 

Is it too late to ask for love, is it wrong to feel right?

Drenched

When minutes become hours

When days become years

And I dont know where you are

Color seems so dull without you

Have we lost our minds?

What have we done?

But it all doesnt seem to matter anymore

When you kissed me on that street, I kissed you back

You held me in your arms, I held you in mine

You picked me up to lay me down

When I look into your eyes

I can hear you cry for a little bit more of you and I

Im drenched in your love

Im no longer able to hold it back

Is it too late to ask for love?

Is it wrong to feel right?

When the world is winding down

Thoughts of you linger around

Have we lost our minds?

What have we done?

But it all doesnt seem to matter anymore

When you kissed me on that street, I kissed you back

You held me in your arms, I held you in mine

You picked me up to lay me down

When I look into your eyes

I can hear you cry for a little bit more of you and I

Im drenched in your love

Im no longer able to hold it back

30 April 

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=4805796099679

1 May

我喜欢你，真的与你无关吗？

无话不谈，却谈不了我心底想说的话。

“爱真的需要勇气，只要你一个眼神肯定，我的爱就有意义”

你说你是花心大萝卜，我怎么还喜欢你相信你，这是自寻死路吧？

我想要淡淡的爱恋，我可以不在乎你跟谁又去了哪里，只要你不越线，玩累了回到我身边。。

可我也怕你，泥泞深陷，无法自拔，我不忍心，，，

不会有结果，我能承受吗？

4 May

This is your favourite song that you even planned to play it on your wedding.

Hmmm, meaningful song...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvwuAGHJP24&feature=share

8 May

我多希望有一天你會像我需要你一樣需要我。

看到自己喜歡的人主動來找妳的時候 最開心了