Concious? Unconcious??

I confused.
Do I still have feeling on him??
I care of him. But whatever he did, I am just observing and do not give a damn.
Lyn told me he compared his fingers length with her, and wondered Lyn's has long fingers.
It reminds me of the time that my palm nearly touches his palm.
He talked with her in mandarin before I went to tutor room last week.
I always go late nowadays, cause there is nothing that makes me have motivation, if I go early, it depresses me instead.
Today, I went late to class.
I still can not talk in PBL.
He did not straighten his hair.
He wore the black shirt that I believe he wants to reduce the number of shirt for laundry.
I saw him looked at me a few times.
Me bravely looked like he was transparent, and forced myself turn away, to not let him knows that I was pretending to be emotionless.
Who knows, I was controlling my heart, it was not pumping abnormally, my emotion, my hormones not elevated by him.
And I actually saw him amused by Lyn of her name, just like he laughed at me last time.
Can I badly think that he is pretending for all this well because he actually an attention seeker, he is fishing of all girls???

Why?
Why I imagined that he holds me tight and apologizes?

I think I am just want a person that can talk.