Terserempak

I hate this.
I always meet him in front of Murni.
I mean, when they is some activities there, and I always meet him co-incidentally, example tonight.
We went to PUMA for meeting about elective thingy, and I waited for Lyn to sign her attendance of the Intro Night.
Then we walked to DM3, and while walking I told her some happenings when I was in the hall.
Then we met him, I did not notice him until he was 3 metres away from me.
I saw him typing his phone, replied someone message, did not see us.
So, I did not greet him.
But Lyn did, and thus I said "Yo" to him followed by her greeting.
Then I continued my story.
I have no more interest on him (I mean the complicated one.)

I told myself, I need to be strong, I need to expel this kind of feeling, I had make wishes, I want to be a guy in my future, will not be a girl anymore.

I know it is suffer to be a girl.
Why should I think to much for a guy that not so good as I imagined??

In my future, I will be the best man, and do good depth.
Then why I should make myself so inferior in front of him???
He will not be a better guy than me.
As a girl who hope for a good guy, why not I myself be a good guy in my future life??

*Lyn was very down from morning to evening, and I should have strong enough to resist her bad aura.

Since then I knew that, why YCT is so important to me.
I no need to force myself to make someone happy.
While I was trying, the one was not appreciating it and showed face to me.

So I said, I hate doing the one who is not myself.
Why should I serve someone who not willing to reciprocal to me???
Why should I face that kind of people and make my heart cloudy??

This will be the last activity I will join, that known that will make my mind darker.